Page 60 of Sacrifice
Everything I thought I knew was just pulled out from under me. I have no idea where I’m standing, except that I’m on shaky ground.“I want you to know something. I came home that day because I missed you.”Never in a million years did I think Crew came back for me.
I close my eyes and remember hearing his voice call Gage’s name through the house that day. I remember feeling like I was going to come out of my skin when he walked in the room.
I hadn’t seen him in months. I hadn’t heard from him in weeks. Even then, the conversations had been short. Impersonal. I didn’t think he cared anymore. And when I looked up at him, his eyes were locked away. They only served to strengthen my conclusion that he had grown away from me, found a more exciting life in Minnesota.
But was I wrong?
I let my head hang forward, hoping the rush of blood to my brain will help me think.
Did I do something wrong? Should I have waited on him? Was I wrong for being with Gage?
Everleigh’s breathing shifts and she rolls to her side. Her pink lips pucker in her sleep.And I know.
Regardless of why Crew left or why he came back, regardless of when and how I got with Gage, it wasn’t wrong. This little girl proves it. She’s the tie that binds us together, even under these terrible circumstances. She’s what bonded Gage and me together, solidified our marriage. A marriage that I am absolutely certain would have stood the test of time if he was still here.
But he’s not.
She’s also what kept me going after losing him. And now, she’s the reason that Crew and I are able talk without killing one another.
I scoot Ever over and climb into the bed. She snuggles against me, resting her monkey on my chest. I squeeze her tight.
This may be one of the last normal nights we have in a long time.
The moon shines through the blinds, casting shadows through the room. Ever’s dream catcher is hanging on the window, right where she and Crew put it the night we got here.
I watch the shadows dance on the walls and feel a sense of peace start to wash over me. It’s soothing and I feel settled in a way I haven’t in a very long time. The quietness of the room, so unlike our apartment, is a simple pleasure I didn’t even realize how much I’d missed.
I force my eyes shut, but Gage’s eyes don’t come for me like they usually do. Instead, I see Crew’s face from moments before.
Did I misjudge him this entire time?
No. I know I haven’t. He’s irresponsible. He’s a hedonist.
The dream catcher twists as the vent beneath it turns on. I watch it spin. Crew and Ever placed it carefully so it would pull the most light from the streetlamp outside. He’s so careful with her, so tender. He’s sacrificed so much of his life to help her.
To help me.
I hear Ever moan. Her hand shifts under the blankets and holds her stomach. She moans again and the sound shakes me to the core.
I make sure she’s settled and then feel my worries take over.
“Mrs. Gentry, I’m sorry,” Dr. Perkins says, his voice controlled. “The insurance has denied Everleigh’s admission into the therapy program. We’ve filed an appeal on her behalf, but we haven’t heard back yet.”
“What does this mean?”
A million thoughts fly through my head, making me dizzy. This can’t be happening.
I toggle the phone in my hand. I shouldn’t have answered it in the parking lot of the grocery store. I knew better. I should’ve let it go to voicemail and called him back.
I turn to smile at Ever in the back seat, safely buckled into her seatbelt in the parking lot of the grocery store. I whisper to stay put and then exit the car, leaning against the hood. “What do you mean she’s been denied?”
“Unfortunately, this treatment isn’t a standard procedure. Insurance companies are more hesitant to approve these things because they’re very costly and unproven in the long run.”
I can’t breathe. I feel like my chest filled with cement. Things start spinning around me and I squeeze my temples with my free hand, trying to stay clearer minded than when I got the original diagnosis.
“So what does this mean?” I ask. “What do we do now?”
“We wait and see what they say. We’ll talk about it more on Monday. I know this is not the news you wanted to hear. It’s not the news I wanted to hear either and, honestly, not the news I expected to hear. Regardless, we will keep pushing on our end.”
