Page 58 of Sacrifice
“I’m so fucking sorry,” I choke out. Fury and guilt choke me, drown me in their depths.
“I finally called Gage. I didn’t know anyone else that would come.”
“Jules—”
“Don’t worry about it, Crew. That was a long time ago.”
“Damn it, Jules. Damn it! I . . .” I run my hands across my face, scrubbing at them for some feeling. I feel so many things I’m practically numb. “Ah!”
“Everything worked out. Gage came and took me home with him.” She smiles to herself. “I had to beg him, literally beg him, not to kill my father.”
“He should’ve,” I bite out. “He should’ve sliced his fucking throat.”
Julia leans back on the sofa, her arms across her stomach. “That’s how things started with Gage and me anyway. I was afraid to go home, so I stayed with him and your ma for a while.”
I don’t give a shit about that right now. I’m glad Gage went and got her. God knows what might’ve happened if he didn’t. I’m just pissed he didn’t kill her cocksucker father.
“I never should’ve left you. I should’ve fought for you,” I say, my voice so low I don’t even know if she heard me.
“You couldn’t. You weren’t in a good place, Crew. Things happen for a reason.”
“Fuck that. I could’ve and I should’ve. I’ve never fought for anything good, anything honorable. I should’ve done that for you.”
I watch her watching me and think about the weird way things have happened. She and I are together now, but not together, all because of the baby she had with my brother.
Fucking life.
“I want you to know something,” I say, hoping this is the right thing to do. “I came home that day because I missed you.”
A small gasp escapes her throat as she struggles to sit up.
“I walked in and saw the two of you sitting there, your head lying in his lap while you watched TV.” I shake my head, the pit of acid that comes with the image hitting me yet again. “I stood there for a couple of minutes and watched you both. I was ready to grab Gage by the back of the head and beat the fuck out of him. Then I heard you giggle.”
I fix my gaze against a wall, remembering the way it sounded like it just happened. So carefree, so happy, so safe. Three things I knew I’d probably never be able to give her. I was irresponsible, unpredictable . . . even to myself. She didn’t deserve me. What could I even offer her but one fuckup after another?
“You and Gage deserved each other. You’re the best people I’ve ever known.”
I see her irises blur with tears and I smile. “Don’t cry.”
“Crew . . .” She wipes her face with her fingertips. “I had no idea you came home because of me. I thought you’d forgotten about me. Gage and I . . . we never expected anything to happen. It just . . . did.”
“It should’ve. You two being together was the world working right for once. I’d fucked up your lives time and time again. Gage did us both a favor by saving you from me.”
“I found something the other day. A letter from Gage.”
“Where?”
“At the bank.” She closes her eyes and I’m not sure if she’s going to continue. “I went to get my ring and when I found it, I also found a letter he’d written to me.”
“What did it say?” I feel my heartbeat pick up, wondering what my brother said.
She laughed sadly. “He told me if anything ever happened, he wanted me to trust you.”
“Me?”
“Yeah. I’ll show it to you sometime. But for now, I want to just keep it, if that’s okay?”
I nod, trying to figure out why in the hell Gage would say that.
