Page 126 of Sacrifice
I wrap my arms around her and pull her tightly against me. I can feel relief leave her body.
“Did he hurt you? Did he scare Ever?” I mumble, my face buried in her hair. I let her scent wash over me, use it to help me calm down.
“No, nothing like that. Ever was sleeping and then out for testing most of the time. He just tried to intimidate me, you know? I know he wanted me to panic and call you, but I’m not giving him any victories over you today.”
She smiles sadly and my anger starts to dissipate.
“You should’ve called me,” I groan. “Call me next time. You have to promise me you’ll call me the next time you’re in a position like that.”
She lays a soft kiss to the center of my chest. “I promise. I love you, Crew.”
I’ll never get used to her saying that. I’ll never get tired of hearing those words come out of her mouth.
“Don’t let him get in your head. That’s what he wants. The easy win.”
“You’re more of a fighter than me.” I laugh.
“I don’t want to think about this all night. I don’t want that asshole impacting our time together.”
“Tomorrow, I have to get up early and go through the last-minute stuff with Sal. Then I have a few things I need to take care of.” I squeeze my eyes shut. “But tonight, I want to go inside and watch cartoons or whatever Ever wants to do. I want to curl up next to you in my bed and forget the world.”
She looks at me, her eyes full of the same love I know she sees in mine. “Let’s do that.”
FIFTY-ONE
JULIA
I check on Ever and she’s sleeping peacefully. She had a rough day but is all cuddled in her bed, her face smooth and without pain. She has no idea that our world is going to shift, good or bad, in the next few days.
We watched cartoons tonight just like Crew said. We stretched out on the couch and just relaxed as best as we could. Ever laid on Crew’s chest and the sight of the two of them just about broke my heart.
If Crew wins his fight the day after tomorrow, Ever will start her treatment the following Monday. It’s the best-case scenario.
If Crew loses and something goes wrong, I could be set up to lose them both.
I push it out of my mind. I can’t go there. It’s the first time in my life that I refuse to make plans, to consider the future. But I can’t. I can’t fathom losing either of them on top of having lost Gage.
There are so many things fighting for a spot in my brain.
What will happen if Ever gets the treatment? What if she doesn’t? What if Crew wins? What if he doesn’t? What if he gets hurt? Is it right to even let him do this? Am I right to let him make his own choice about it?
Am I wrong to not tell him I’m pregnant?
My hand goes flat against my stomach. I’ve only known for a couple of days. It’s still so early, I’m just a few weeks along, and I lost a baby before and after Everleigh. There’s no guarantee I won’t miscarry this one. There never is a guarantee, of course, but I don’t want to announce it and then explain that something’s happened.
I know, too, that Crew has been worried sick about me on top of Everleigh and his fight. I don’t want to add more pressure to him. A part of me thinks maybe I should tell him. He deserves to know before he fights. A part of me thinks I shouldn’t tell him, that it’ll only distract him. That he will fight anyway, and this will be in the back of his mind and take his focus off the fight.
I’m torn. This is yet another thing for me to worry about. Although, at the end of the day, it’s given me something to smile about in the midst of the madness. So many moments I just close my eyes and imagine us playing, as a family, together at the beach. Ever’s hair blowing in the breeze, her giggle riding on top of the sound of waves crashing. A baby chasing her, its little feet imprinting in the sand behind her, while I sit with Crew and watch.
I slip out the door and down the hallway then open the door to Crew’s room. I haven’t slept in here yet. It’s not that I’ve been against it like I was before, but we’ve been home so infrequently. And the nights that we have, Crew’s come in and fallen asleep while I’ve been caring for Ever and I don’t want to wake him. Or Ever has wanted me to lay with her because of her nightmares.
He’s lying on top of his sheets, his eyes closed. A white T-shirt is stretched over his torso, hinting of the lines of his chiseled stomach. He has on dark blue boxer briefs, the color of his eyes when he’s worked up. I could just stand and watch him like this forever. He seems so peaceful, so carefree, which are two things he isn’t in his real life very much. I wish I could give him those things every day.
Maybe, when this is behind us, I can.
I close the door, lock it behind me, then pad to the bed and slip in next to him. He rolls immediately to face me, his blue eyes popping open and seeing into my soul. We gaze at each other’s exhausted, familiar faces and appreciate the peace in the air.
He grins a sleepy, lazy grin. “I’ve been waiting on you.” He rolls on top of me, spreading my legs with his knee. He bends down and almost kisses me. His lips hover over mine, his eyes boring into mine.
