Page 65 of Sacrifice
“Honestly, Ever? Maybe. But you never know.” He pauses for a minute. “You know how we call all candy on a stick a lollipop? But there are all kinds of lollipops, right? Some have gum inside, some chocolate, and some are red? That’s like cancer, monkey. We say ‘cancer,’ but there are all different kinds and every type does something kinda different.”
“Will it fall out in the bathroom? That’s what Megan said happened to her mommy. She said she would get out of the shower and a bunch of her hair would be in the bottom. That would be so scary.” Her bottom lip trembles as she looks between us.
She doesn’t understand. In her little mind, that’s all she can control. Her hair. Something so basic and something we take for granted is the one thing she’s focusing on.
“Did you know I used to be a fighter?” Crew asks her.
She shakes her head, tilting her head to the side. She’s obviously as confused as I am by his line of questioning.
“Well, I was. I used to fight a lot. And you know what we would do before we fought?”
She shakes her head again.
“We would shave our hair off.”
She blanches. “Why? Why would you do that?”
“Because,” he says exaggeratedly, “when you go into a fight and you have no hair, that tells the guy you’re fighting that you’re serious. That you came ready to win. It gives you power because it was your choice to shave your head. He can’t do that to you.”
Her little eyes light up and I hold my breath.
“So that’s what we should do. Cancer wants to fight us? We show it that we came ready for battle.” He tilts his head down, looking at her like they’re discussing strategy. Maybe they are.
“We have to shave our heads?” She seems to consider what he’s saying. “Am I going to die, Uncle Crew?”
I gasp, my stomach falling to the floor. Crew, too, looks shocked at the question but recovers quicker than me.
“No. You won’t. I promise you. We are going to fight this together.”
He looks up at me, his eyes crystal clear. “The three of us are going to beat cancer. It’s going to take a lot of work and it’s not gonna be fun. But if we show it that we’re serious, we’ll win.”
“Are you sure?” she asks, watching him closely.
Crew laughs, but I know it’s for her benefit. “Sure, I’m sure. Have you seen me?” He pulls the edge of his sleeve back and flexes his muscle, making Ever laugh. “I’m a monster.” He reaches forward and tickles her. She twists around on my lap, her giggles rushing over me.
“Okay,” she says simply, catching her breath. “Let’s win!”
“That’s my girl.” His eyes blur with unshed tears.
“We have to be scary,” she says, wiggling her fingers in front of her face like a monster.
“Let’s do it.” He bends so they’re eye to eye. In a hushed voice he says, “Wanna shave our heads? Show it who’s boss?”
She stills. I’m not sure what she’s gonna say. I’m not sure I’m prepared for that either.
“You’ll do it, too?” she asks, touching the top of his head.
“Of course. We’re both fighting this thing. I’m not going into this fight letting it think it’s gonna beat me from the start.”
She stands and then turns to face me, sinking her back into Crew’s front. “Will you shave yours, too, Mommy?”
“Ah.” Crew laughs, picking her up. “Your mommy isn’t much of a fighter. But she is awful pretty.”
I laugh and wipe my eyes.
“She is pretty,” Ever says through her giggles.
Crew twists her around and sits her on his hip. They look at each other, a smile on both of their faces. He taps her nose. “Let’s let Mommy be the cheerleader. That’ll be her job. We can’t have her getting in the way as we do the dirty work.”
