Page 47 of Sacrifice
“What’s wrong? Why are you looking like that?”
“You won’t leave us?” she asks softly.
“No.” It’s the simplest, most honest answer I can give her. I don’t know how in the hell I’m going to pull this off, but I will. I have to.
She looks at me again. For the first time in a long time, I see a bit of hope. “I just don’t know if it’s the right thing. I mean, what will Ever think? Will it confuse her? And Gage . . .”
“I tell you what,” I say and start towards the house. I’m not playing twenty questions with her. I don’t have the fucking answers to everything. I just know this is what’s gotta be done. “You can call the cops and have them remove me or you can get your ass in here and help pack your shit.”
EIGHTEEN
JULIA
My mind races and I’m unable to slow it down. It could be the pot of coffee I’ve drank, the lack of sleep last night, or the mere fact that today is a day I never thought I’d be facing. The day I’m moving in with Crew Gentry.
Granted it’s for Everleigh and granted it’s probably not going to change much between us, but it’s still nerve-wracking. This isn’t what I want to happen . . . not by a long shot. I’d much rather be living in this apartment than with him, but I don’t have a choice. And when the options are considered, I know I’m going to need help, and Ever is going to be happier with him than Olivia. So I’m doing what must be done.
Lord help us all.
I take a quick glance around the apartment. Everything I own is stuck in one box or another and lined against the wall of the living room. Crew has furniture and I can’t afford to put ours in storage. Olivia’s nephew is going to come and get what I don’t take. She helped me get packed up last night and even brought coffee over earlier this morning. She’s the only thing I’ll miss from here. This place never felt like home.
A quick knock beats off the door and it pushes open. Crew’s head pops around the corner. He grins and comes in and closes the door behind him.
I see the hesitation in his eyes, the careful way he’s looking at me. He gazes slowly around the room and takes in the boxes. When he turns back to me, he seems more assured.
“You ready?” he asks.
I take a deep breath. “Yeah, I think so. I’ve already filled my car up with stuff. This is all that’s left.”
“What about your furniture? Do you want to take any of it?”
I shake my head. “No. We just need a bed and a dresser. If your spare room has that, we’ll manage.”
I try to focus on the good. That we will have a place to stay. That having Crew, Ever’s favorite person, around will be good for her. That I won’t have to worry about bills. If I don’t focus on that, I start to panic, thinking that this is going to end in another tragic mess. That I know better.
That if I had a different option, I’d take it. But I don’t.
He smiles and his full lips part. The sunshine comes in through the windows making him seem younger. His grin soothes me and I appreciate having the edge taken off my nerves.
Even though I’m scared to, I appreciatehim.
“Yeah, it does. Will is going to be by in a minute. If you and Ever want to go ahead—”
“Uncle Crew!” Ever squeals as she bursts through the door, Olivia following close behind. She heads straight for her uncle, just not as quickly as normal. She’s so tired. Her little body’s gone through so much in the last few days.
Crew picks her up and holds her with one arm. “Heya, monkey. Ready to go home with me?”
“I am! I’m so happy we are going home with you. I made sure Mommy packed our family painting. Can we hang that at your house?”
He grins. “It’s your house now, too. You can hang whatever you want.” She cheers and he looks back to me. “You two can head on over. I’ll unpack your car when I get there. Just go on in and make yourself comfortable.”
I reach for Ever and she climbs into my arms. She’s lighter than she was even a week ago. “We’ll see you soon.”
I could easily be emotionally overwhelmed by this situation. It’s the start of a new chapter in our lives. I have no idea what the future holds, only that I’ve officially become dependent on my brother-in-law. I just try to keep everything in a box in my head. Ever’s cancer in this box. The things I have to do to be able to deal with the cancer in this one. Everything else in this one. It’s the only way I can manage. I can’t get caught up in how I feel about everything because I think my emotions cross the entire spectrum. From the anger and devastation of Ever’s diagnosis to the embarrassment of needing Crew in such a blatant way to the exhaustion of dealing with everything—I nearly can’t deal.
“I guess we will see you soon,” I say to Olivia.
She wipes a tear from the corner of her eye. “You girls are like my family,” she says, pulling us into a hug. “You call me, Julia, if you need anything. I don’t care what time it is or what you need. You call me.”
