Page 42 of Sacrifice
“The office manager of your apartment. They said I could either come by next week and pick up the security deposit I made for you when you moved in, or they could mail it to me.” He looks at me out of the corner of his eye. “Since you’re moving and all.”
I sag.
“Where ya goin’?” His tone is too calm. I know there’s a burst of anger floating right behind the words.
I was going to tell him about the move, but I hadn’t gotten around to it. It was a last-minute decision and, quite frankly, he’s not on the top of my priority list.
“You were right,” I say, sadly. “I have to stop fightingeverything.I have no idea what I’m facing right now but I was struggling to make it before all this happened.” I hate admitting this out loud, tohim,of all people. “I’m so far behind as it is, and things are going to get worse. I just have to consolidate everything and try not to drown. So, we’re moving in with Olivia.”
He doesn’t say anything, but I know he’s trying to keep himself in check. He cracks his knuckles, his elbows on his denim-covered legs. His vision is focused on something across the room as he listens to me.
“She volunteered last night and I . . . I don’t want to. It feels like I’m losing every battle in my life, Crew. But what can I do? I can barely afford to survive at this point and the best I’m gonna be able to do is work at Ficht’s and the office when I can just so they keep me employed and I—”
“Stop.”
“What?”
“Stop rambling.”
“Rambling? If you don’t want to hear what I have to say, don’t ask.”
His jaw pulses as he studies me. He searches my face and starts to bring a hand up, but drops it back to his lap. “You’re moving in with me.”
“What?”
I know my mouth is sitting agape, but I can’t help it. I can’t believe he just said that. Of all the reactions I might have anticipated, that was not one of them.
“You and Ever are moving in with me,” he repeats. “Jules, I’m done playing games with ya. You two aren’t moving in with some neighbor lady when I’m here. No fucking way.”
“She’s not just ‘some neighbor.’ Olivia has been a blessing to me.”
“She’s good to ya. I know. But we are family.”
I scoff. “No, you and Everleigh are family.We,” I say, motioning between us, “are not.”
“Semantics.” His gaze narrows. “Look, if it makes you feel better, then fine. Let me do this formyfamily. Let me do this for Everleigh and Gage. Let me do what’s right by them, Julia. All it’ll do is help you out in the long run.”
“Crew . . .” I start to argue with him, but there’s something about the way he’s looking at me that makes me want to hear him out.
“I’ve pretty much done wrong by everyone in my life. I know this. I know you don’t trust me and you have every right not to.” The shadows across his face darken, and his voice lowers. “But give me a chance to make some things right. Give me a chance to do something I’m proud of, for once.” He smiles to himself. “Give me a chance to man up.”
My heart twists in my chest. I’ve not heard Crew talk like this in a long time. It reminds me of a Crew from many years ago before he left to wrestle. Everyone would come up to him to hear about his fights and exploits around town. But late at night when we’d lay in bed, he’d tell me different stories. They would be stripped down, without the fanfare, and sometimes he’d question whether he should’ve done it or not. I could see that he wasn’tjustthe bad boy everyone thought. I spent a lot of time wondering why he acted out like he did when he was so clearlymoredown deep.
I thought this Crew was long gone.
“You and me, we don’t have anybody else,” he says. His eyes soften and he smiles sadly. “I’m not asking ya to be nice to me. I’m not asking ya to trust me. I’m not asking ya to like me or to not give me shit.”
His smile brightens a bit, and I can’t help but grin back. “Good. Because that’ll never happen anyway.” I laugh.
“I’m also not asking ya to move in with me. I’m telling ya that’s what’s gonna happen.”
Maybe it’s because he seems so genuine. Maybe it’s because I’m exhausted. Or maybe the antiseptic odor of the hospital has demolished too many of my brain cells. But whatever the reason, I don’t argue. But I don’t agree, either.
It’s probably another mistake on my part, but it can just be chalked up with the rest of them.
SIXTEEN
JULIA
