Page 63 of Full Body Hit: Part 2
Auston let Chase take the lead, nodding when Chase mentioned he liked a particular ingredient or that a dish looked good, until they’d ordered three appetisers and two mains to share.
“Maybe it’s too much,” Chase worried as the waiter walked away after taking their orders.
“We can just take the leftovers home.”
“I’m not sure seafood makes the best leftovers…”
Auston snorted. “Yeah, maybe you’re right. It’ll be fine, though. I’ve got some news, actually.”
Chase sat up straighter. “Oh?”
“I, uh…I officially told the team this is my last year.”
Auston had considered not telling him. Not because he didn’t want Chase to know, but because he didn’t want to fucking talk about it. If it had been any other relationship, he would have delayed it a little, let it sink in before having to discuss it.
But…that passive bullshit wasn’t gonna help him anymore. Just thinking he had to do better wasn’t going to make him someone worthy of Chase. Sure, he liked to tease the kid about his hero worship, enjoyed seeing Chase pampered by him, but Auston knew full well that he was the one who had to work in the relationship to be good enough.
Everything in Chase begged to be loved. To be had. To be touched. Auston could see it glow off him—how vulnerable he was. Auston knew how easy it would be to be a shitty partner, totake advantage of all that hero worship and get Chase’s love by default instead of earning it.
The very thought of that made him sick. Sure, it pumped up his ego to witness how much Chase liked Auston’s hockey. Auston had a rough time dividing himself as a person, and himself as a hockey player, and it was fucking nice to have someone who admired both sides of him.
But ‘Auston the person’ had a lot of fucking work to do to live up to Chase. The kid might not know it, was too young to ask for what he really deserved, but Auston was gonna make sure he got it. Auston wasn’t gonna lay back and be the person he’d been in past relationships.
He wanted to keep Chase for fucking ever, and the only way to do that was to be the person Chase thought he was.
Chase’s eyes went soft around the edges. “Oh. How’d the conversation go?”
Auston shrugged. “Good, honestly. Feels shit, but. It went well.”
Chase picked up his chair and crab-walked with it so that he was closer to Auston—beside him now instead of across.
Auston’s hand twitched as Chase grabbed it, but he didn’t hesitate to lace their fingers together, heart pumping behind his ribs as if it were begging to get out, to slide down his arm to where Chase was touching him.
Chase squeezed, a tender thumb running across his knuckles. “Sorry. I don’t know what to say, but…I know it’s sad, but I’m proud of you. Which is probably super silly, sorry, but—”
“No. It’s not silly.” Auston swallowed. “Thanks, baby.”
Chase gave him a wobbly smile. “One day, I’ll have to have that talk with someone too, and I just…all I want is to have had the career you do. That’s all I want in life. You’ve done everything I want to do, and I feel that’s pretty cool.”
Auston couldn’t help but mirror the expression, lips tilting up. There was a big balloon in his chest getting larger and larger.
Not everybody finished their careers proud of what they had done. Auston had that, though. Something solid to look back on and be happy to claim,I did that.
“Thanks, baby,” Auston said again.
They stayed seated side by side when the dishes arrived even though the lack of space made eating a little difficult. They made do, digging in hungrily, still starving from the rough practice earlier that day.
They ended up eating enough not to need to ask for leftovers, practically rolling out of the restaurant, heavy coats on against the chill as they took the rail to the Garden District to take a walk.
Auston wrapped an arm around Chase, keeping him close as they strolled slowly through the streets, working off the food that sat heavy in their bellies.
“Where are you taking me? Another movie?” Chase asked.
“No. There’s a jazz bar nearby we can pop into, but I thought we’d just walk a bit. Unless you want to see a movie.”
“No, this is nice.”
Auston hummed. “Did you enjoy that last one we saw, though? At the cinema? I don’t actually know what kind of movie you prefer.”
