Page 46 of Full Body Hit: Part 2
A laugh burst out of Chase, and another, and then he couldn’t stop until he wasn’t sure if what he was doing was laughing or some breathless, desperate sound.
“Hey. It’s okay. You’re okay.” Auston was right beside him suddenly, a glass of water somehow in his hand. “Breathe, baby. You’re okay.”
Chase shuddered at the nickname, throat closing up, cutting off all those awful sounds that had been spilling out of him.
He took the water and just held it, unable to drink.
“Did something happen at the bar?” Auston asked lowly.
Chase shook his head. He wanted to laugh again, but his chest was all closed up. “Sorry,” he gasped. Maybe it was the only thing he could say now.
“There’s nothing to be sorry about. You just worry about breathing, okay? There’s no rush. Nothing else to do. We can relax.”
Chase shut his eyes, swaying in place. It wasn’t Aunix’s voice, but it was the same cadence. The same softness.
Auston made him feelgood. Not just pleasurable, but as ifhewere good. As if he were worth being concerned about.
Obviously, he had other people who showed him that, but it was just different with Auston, so intense and focused that it penetrated all the doubt that had crusted around him over the years.
“Let me get you a blanket,” Auston said, getting up.
Chase’s muscles seized at the thought of Auston going away. His hand shot out, grabbing the hem of Auston’s shirt and pulling him in.
Auston went with the movement easily, stepping right in front of him.
Chase couldn’t help it, collapsing forwards and resting his forehead on Auston’s stomach, feeling the warmth there. “Don’t go.”
“Okay. Okay, baby, I’m right here.”
God, that word again.Baby. Heat and shame and delight and anticipation flared through him at the thought of returning the favour. Of meeting Auston’s eyes and calling himDaddy.
He pushed the thought away—this wasn’t the time.
Chase swallowed, the truth welling up inside him. “I…I miss you.”
A barely-there touch landed on his head, sifting through his hair. “I miss you too.”
“I…I don’t know if I should care more about you lying to me. You shouldn’t have done that. I know you take care of me, but you can’t treat me like I can’t handle things.” It was easier, talking this way—Chase hiding in Auston’s shirt, not having to see his face.
“I know. You’re right. I let my own fucking fear and bullshit get in the way. I didn’t want you to leave me for something I saw as a misunderstanding, but I know that’s your choice to make. That you have to do what’s best foryou, not me.”
What was best for Chase? Every time he peered inside and searched for hurt and betrayal, there was only want.
Maybe there was something wrong with him. Maybe this wasn’t as healthy as he wanted to believe. The age difference—the vast gap between their experience and where they were in their lives—those weren’t distant things anymore. They had to live through them now. Had to actually deal with this wholeDaddy-baby dynamic in the real world. Had to figure out how to add friends and a job and distractions andlifeto what they’d built over the phone.
All Chase knew was that Aunix made him feel bigger, and more talented, and more capable than anybody else had ever done. As much as Aunix took care of him, he had believed in Chase’s ability every step of the way—Aunix had pumped him up through every problem at work, had convinced Chase that he could achieve anything he put his mind to.
His head was pointing out all the shady things Auston had done, the history betweenthemand not Aunix. But…
Chase’s gut was telling him not to let go of this. He didn’t know how to listen to anything else.
“I think we should date,” Chase said, voice steadier than he’d thought it would be.
There was a pause. “Yeah?” The word trembled, a hopeful thing.
“Yeah. Just. Try it out.”
Chase could feel Auston take a deep breath. The hand on his head settled fully, a warm presence. “Okay. Yeah. Tomorrow? Wait, no, we’re travelling. The day after we get home? I can—”
