Page 2 of Full Body Hit: Part 2
“Oh, thanks. You don’t—”
“It’s fine. Really.” The annoyance at Chase’s constant refusal to be helped had melted away. Auston now knew exactly what he’d put Chase through—it was no wonder he didn’t want to be taken care of by him.
Chase acquiesced, retreating to the couch as Auston put something together.
Auston’s hands were clumsy as he made a simple chicken dish with rice and vegetables. He took the loaded plates to the living room, and they both ate on the couch though the TV wasn’t on.
Even sitting there, everything felt slow and distant. Auston couldn’t help but watch Chase chew, soaking in the little hum ofpleasure at the first bite. He wanted to purr, or scream, or cry, or beg.
This was Charlie. Chase. Char—
Auston cleaned up after they finished and returned to the living room with his throat in a knot. Chase was full and calm, expression clear of pain.
Auston had to do it now. It was the right thing to do.
He sat in the middle of the couch, too close to Chase for it to be normal, but Chase didn’t seem to notice, eyes shut and face placid.
Auston took a deep breath.Chase. I don’t know how it happened, but…
The words were right there, covered in phlegm at the back of his throat.
I have something to tell you…
I’m so sorry…
Auston opened his mouth. There was silence.
Slowly, Chase’s lips parted. His cheeks relaxed. His eyelids fluttered before stilling. He listed to the side until he was pressed against Auston, the contact radiating pain in his whole body.
Fuck. God.Auston closed his eyes and tried to breathe.
It was okay. It wasn’t as if Auston were taking advantage of Charlie—Chase. The kid had just fallen asleep. It wasn’t Auston’s fault. It was okay to enjoy it. To breathe in the peace of the moment.
It was impossible that this was the person he had fallen in love with. Phantoms of his conversations with Charlie floated past him—the late nights, the stilted confessions, the long talks.
How was he supposed to give this up? To carve out this piece of his heart that had grown bright and bloody and right at the centre of where his blood pumped strongest?
These past months, it had been as if someone had found him after years of being lost.
He had to let that go?
He sat there, resting in the warmth as if it were the last time he’d be able to step out of the cold.
It was a while until he had to accept that if they didn’t move, Chase would wake up with a crick in his neck, and that was the last thing he needed to feed his concussion.
“Hey,” Auston whispered, jostling Chase’s shoulder slightly.
Chase barely stirred, mumbling something incomprehensible and burrowing into Auston.
Fuck, that hurt.
Auston’s heartached.
Auston tried again, needing this to be over, skin scraped raw. Chase twitched, eyes blinking open blearily, slowly, and then he bolted upright.
“Oh, my God. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s fine,” Auston assured. “You needed the sleep. I just didn’t want you to get a headache from the uncomfortable position.”
