Page 56 of Broken Ice
Beau straddled him, stuffing his face under Emilio’s jaw and rubbing his cheek there, spreading his scent in that intimate place.
Slowly, Emilio’s arms wound around Beau until they were squeezing him tightly.
Beau took a deep breath. He trusted Emilio with this. “Being an Omega has always felt like something I had to overcome to play hockey, you know? And I get that’s kind of dumb—hockey is for everyone and blah blah blah…”
Emilio’s hand petted over his side, a slow, tender up-and-down.
Beau cleared his throat. “But I told myself—I’m not gonna let it get in the way. I’m not gonna let anybody look at me differently. I made sure nobody thought of me as an Omega instead of a player. And you’d think that’d be a good thing, right? Perseverance or whatever. Overcoming obstacles. But I’m starting to think it’s kind of fucked me up? Convincing myself that this big part of me is this bad thing I have to battle instead of accept and love?” Beau choked on the last word, coming to a stop.
Emilio’s hands squeezed gently, a comfort. It settled Beau enough to continue.
“I just kind of ignored anything to do with being an Omega. I ignored my scent and I ignored how Alphas reacted to me and then the whole thing with Alex happened and I just…I should have said no to those fucking suppressants. But I guess all that talk about accepting myself and loving my scent was just absolute bullshit, because I jumped on the opportunity of not being an Omega anymore.”
Beau laughed, shaking his head. He was getting off track.
“Point is, the reason I made you go to the game is because I couldn’t take that whole…‘being an Omega is a distraction’ stuffto be true. I didn’t think about you or how you might feel or…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let my fucked-up thoughts get to me.”
“Hey. Come here,” Emilio murmured even though they were already pressed together, wrapping Beau up tighter so he could feel the rumble of Emilio’s words through his chest.
Beau closed his eyes, Emilio’s scent gentle and comforting, drifting through him like dawning mist.
“I’m sorry you had to go through that. I’m sorry this fucking league made you think there was anything wrong with being an Omega. I want you to know, though, that it isn’t being an Omega that is making you miss games—it’s the medical condition you have because some fuckwit with a medical degree gave you suppressants that messed you up. If I’d been given suppressants in my fucking twenties to stop being an Alpha, I’d be having ruts every other fucking week too. So. This has nothing to do with your dynamic and everything to do with how you were treated because of it, and that’s not on you.”
Beau hummed. He’d never actually thought of it that way…which was telling in and of itself. “Yeah.”
“Thanks for telling me all that, though. Just know that I’m not blaming you for any of this, okay? None of us are. It’s a fucked-up situation, but you’re the one getting the brunt of it. It’s okay to take the help that’s offered.”
Beau wiggled closer. “Thanks,” he whispered.
Emilio pet him and kissed his forehead and rubbed his back and what could Beau do but purr?
Emilio just held him closer, one hand buried in Beau’s hair. They stayed like that for a long while. Even when Beau’s purr petered out, he barely moved.
“You know…” Beau said quietly. “I hadn’t purred in like ten years before you.”
Emilio tensed, but Beau could tell it was due to surprise. “What?”
“I just…I don’t know. I thought it was embarrassing or something.”
There was a pause. “Why’d you do it with me, then?”
Beau took a breath. It would be so easy to lie. To not bare himself. But that wouldn’t be fair. “I just feel safe with you.”
Emilio made a choked noise, burying his nose in Beau’s curls. “Beau.” He rolled them over, crushing Beau into the mattress.
Beau hummed happily. “Big, beefy Alpha.”
Emilio laughed, a startled, rough sound.
“Big, beefy, handsome Alpha,” Beau went on, smiling.
Emilio raised himself on his elbows. “You think I’m handsome?”
Beau rolled his eyes. “You know you’re handsome.”
“Well, yeah, but that’s not the same as you thinking it.”
Beau levelled a look at him. “Yes, Emilio. I think you’re very handsome.”
