Page 75 of Oh, Sacred Dark
Especially when Tyler was staring right back.
They didn’t scene that day, for which Roman was grateful—he was scared he’d blurt his desires if he went down—but his want for Tyler wasn’t going to be contained for long.
He mustered the courage to bring it up in therapy, Dr Li-Shun not even blinking at Roman’s admission.
They talked about why it was Roman who would have to take this step, dissecting why he found it so difficult to ask Tyler for more. It was the same fears as always—disparaging thoughts about Roman’s own self-worth, about what could happen if he made himself even more vulnerable to a Dom.
“I trust Tyler,” Roman said decisively, and he did—with his head, at least. RomanknewTyler was good. That he was gentle and kind.
Roman’s bruised and defective heart, though, still held on to old anxieties that he would simply have to fight through.
Tyler was one of the best things in Roman’s life. The Dom made him happy. Allowed him to feel safe. Listened to him, made him feelseen. The fact that Tyler showed that he wanted to be Roman’s Dom officially just augmented that.
The urge to touch him had come—not quite out of the blue, but so suddenly that Roman was still reeling. Since practically the beginning, Roman had enjoyed cuddling with Tyler, but it was only in the last few months that heat had started bubbling in the pit of his stomach when they did.
Now, when they lay together on the couch, Roman’s body would warm with the idea of kissing Tyler. Of having Tyler’s hands under his clothes. Of what it would be like to touch back.
It made him jittery as he spent the evening with Tyler, his mind drifting constantly and then yanking to the present.
Tyler definitely noticed.
“You okay?” he asked, a frown puckering his eyebrows.
“Oh. Uhm, yeah, just…therapy,” he mumbled, feeling bad about the lie.
“Hard session?”
Roman shrugged. “I…” He stared at the water falling over his hands as he washed them, plates lined up in the dishwasher, pans cleaned by Tyler.
He could do this.
He shut the faucet off and turned towards Tyler decisively. “I would like to kiss you, if you would like to kiss me.”
In the history of romantic connections, a more awkward sentence had never been uttered.
Tyler gaped at him. “What?” he choked out, eyes wide.
Panic took over Roman, but it wasn’t an old fear—this was just a mundane phobia of rejection.
It was still freaking unpleasant.
“I’ve been thinking about it,” Roman forged on. “And I would like to kiss you, but only if you want it for yourself and not because you want to give me something I’m asking for.” He’d practiced the little speech in therapy, which had been endlessly embarrassing but was proving to be pretty useful, seeing as his brain had gone fully offline.
Tyler’s expression softened as the shock wore away. “Okay. Yes,” he said.
Roman blinked. “Really?”
“Yeah, Ro. Really.”
Roman’s heart was pounding so hard he’d be surprised if Tyler couldn’t hear it.
Tyler tilted his head. “Now?”
Roman nodded his head. “Yes. Please. Now.”
Roman tilted his face up as Tyler stepped closer, breath caught in his throat as Tyler’s hands cupped his cheeks, thumbs brushing under his eyes before he leant down.
Their lips pressed against each other.
