Page 59 of Oh, Sacred Dark
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Roman started throwing up after most meals. He’d somehow convinced Tyler that he didn’t want to cook together anymore, would go to Nai’s instead and choke down some bread and water—the only things he could stomach.
He wasn’t sleeping. Everything around him was fading.
Going to Connie’s farm was good. Calming. The familiar smell of the horses, the comforting feel of Seashell’s warm body standing near him. He brushed her slowly, watching his own hand like he was being hypnotised.
No, not brushing her hair—cuttingher hair. He was chopping it away with a knife, the blade skimming over her, making her flank jump.
It’d be so easy to slip the edge in. To plunge it into her neck. The noise Seashell made would echo—she’d thrash, but Roman would hold the knife there, slicing into her.
He imagined how hot her blood would be. How bright and red.
Snapping back to reality was a slap to the face. His hands were shaking—his whole body, the comb in his hand dropping to the floor.
What the fuck was happening to him? What the—
He bent over and threw up into a corner of the stall. Just bile—he hadn’t eaten in a while.
He stayed there for a long time, gasping, trying to spit out the acidic taste from his mouth.
What was happening to him?
He should tell someone. Connie, or Cross, or…
Roman closed his eyes. He couldn’t tell Tyler. He couldn’tinfecthim, because that was what would happen. Roman was a disease, and he had to stay away.
He hid away, mind drifting from his body, almost missing Charlie calling him when it was time to go home. Charlie tried to make conversation on the way back, but Roman just stared out of the window until he stopped.
The trip passed in the blink of an eye. When he opened them again, he was in his tub, curled up, shrinking away from the world.
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Roman muffled a scream as a knock rang through his house. He blinked, looking around. His living room was a mess. He had no recollection of what he’d just been doing, but he was sweating, T-shirt damp with it.
He stumbled to the door, stomach sinking as he saw it was Tyler.
“What are you doing here?” Roman blurted.
“You weren’t answering your phone,” Tyler responded slowly. He peered past Roman, to where all the furniture was pressed against the wall.
Roman twitched. “I was just cleaning.”
Tyler stared at him for a long time. “I want you to come with me to Dr Elise.”
“What?” Roman took a step back. “You can’t do that.”
“I’m not…Roman, there’s something wrong.Please. You won’t talk to me, but Dr Elise—”
“I’mfine. I’m fine! Okay?”
“You’re not fine,” Tyler said quietly. “Please. Roman, I’m begging you. Just one visit. She’ll check you out, and if there’s nothing wrong it’ll be like an hour wasted.”
Roman was already shaking his head. “No. There’s nothing wrong.”
“Ro—”
“I saidno! Or are you going to make me?” Roman spit out. There was a dark, slimy anger bubbling up. Tyler didn’t own him. It wasn’t his place to tell Roman what to do.
