Page 48 of Oh, Sacred Dark
Tyler proposed they do something he called ‘safe-word training.’
“You tell me if this sounds okay,” Tyler said. “I’m not going to put you in subspace, but I’m gonna ask you to get on your knees and put your arms out like this, see? Like you’re making a T.”
Roman copied the movement, stretching out his arms like he was saying, ‘It wasthisbig.’
“You’re going to put your palms up, and I’m gonna put a bowl on each hand. They’re not going to be too heavy, but you’ll feel the strain pretty soon.”
“Okay,” Roman said, not sure what the point of all that was.
“The goal is for you to keep your arms straight as long as you can. The rule is that you have to safe-word before you drop the bowls. If you hurt yourself by straining too much, you also lose. Does that make sense?”
Roman nodded. It sounded simple—keep his arms out, impress his Dom with how long he could keep them up. All he had to do was say ‘red’ without letting the bowls drop.
Roman pretended the idea of that—of either safe-wording or failing—didn’t fill him with fear, that it didn’t seem like one of the traps his old Doms used to put him in, no-win scenarios which always ended with him being punished.
Roman cleared his throat. “What happens if I…if I drop the bowls without safe-wording?”
“Nothing.” Tyler shrugged. “Like I’ve previously said, Roman—I’m never going to punish you. That’s not in the cards. I think you’ll beat yourself up enough—too much—if you don’t follow the rules.”
Roman knew it would be difficult, but he hadn’t realisedhow muchuntil he was on his knees, arms burning barely ninety seconds into the exercise.
He closed his eyes, breathing through it. He was used to pain, and this wasn’t even that bad. It was mind over matter. He could…
Roman pursed his lips as his arms started shaking slightly. Fuck, how was he so out of shape? Sweat had sprung up along his hairline, curls feeling heavy on his head. It was so pathetic. His Dom had told him to hold this position for as long as he could, and there he was, failing almost out of the gate.
He clenched his teeth. It wasn’t even the ache—his arms were just not cooperating. The bowls wobbled. They were going to—
“Red. Red, red—I’m sorry, I’m—”
Tyler was there in an instant, placing the bowls on the ground and swaddling him up in his arms. “That was perfect. Well done, that was so good, baby.”
“I didn’t even do it for five minutes, I—”
“Baby, that pose is really hard to sustain.Iwouldn’t be able to do it for more than five minutes. And even if you had lasted five seconds, I’d be proud of you for using your safe word because you should always have an out.”
The last time Roman had used a safe word, he was beaten for being weak. Things always got so, so much worse when he tried to get out of them.
“You’re okay. You did so well,” Tyler said. Roman closed his eyes and tried to believe him, shaking so hard his teeth were chattering.
“I’m sorry,” he couldn’t help but repeat.
“You’re perfect. My perfect boy.”
Roman let out a burst of breath, the use of ‘my’ filling him up, making him cling harder to Tyler’s shirt.
Roman ended up spending the night again, waking up rested but not completely washed, though, the residue of the previous day lingering at the pit of him. He couldn’t help but smile as Tyler snuffled awake, his big body squeezing around Roman’s, face pouting at the prospect of waking up.
“Five more minutes,” Tyler muttered even though nobody had said anything about getting up.
A burst of affection sparked inside Roman, so strong it heated him up, making his cheeks burn. He cuddled into Tyler’s welcoming arms, enjoying Tyler’s pleased hum as they dozed for a while.
They did the safe-word training more than they scened, moving on from the T-pose to other positions. Roman wasn’t sure if it was working until a particular night when they both seemed exhausted, dinner running late, and Roman suggested, “Can we scene tomorrow instead?” without really thinking about it, and Tyler gave him the brightest smile he’d ever seen.
“Of course. Thanks for saying that,” Tyler murmured into his hair as they lay down on the couch, and Roman basked in the feeling of actually being safe.
CHAPTER TEN
TYLER
