Page 30 of Oh, Sacred Dark
Dr Elise raised a calming hand. “That’s okay, I believe you. What else has Tyler given you permission to do?”
“I can go outside. I can talk when talked to. I can go to the bathroom and shower. I…” Roman tried to think of more, but he was shaking again.
“Okay, that’s perfect, Roman, thank you. I know this is hard, but one more question. Is there anything Tyler has banned you from doing? By explicitly saying so, I mean.”
Roman tried to think about it. He should know this. He should know how not to be bad, but Tyler had neversaidanything. “I don’t know, but I’ve been bad. I’ve disobeyed. I know that.”
“Can you give me an example of something you’ve disobeyed?”
Roman thought back to earlier that day when Tyler had told him to help plant things, but Roman had Dropped the previous night and the thought of kneeling by the Dom had made his head swim. He’d known that if he did, he’d sink like a stone into that cold and inhospitable place.
Roman had to take a moment to gather enough spit to talk.
“He told me to help with planting. I said no.” Roman tried to catch his breath, but his lungs were a knot that got tighter.
“Okay. Thank you, Roman. We’re done, okay? How about we do a little exercise?”
Roman nodded, moving to get on his feet—he’d never had a sub punish him before. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.
“No need to get up.” Dr Elise stopped him, causing him to freeze. “This is more of a mental exercise, to lower stress levels. I want you to start by focusing all your attention on things you can see. Take thirty seconds to just watch what’s around you. I’ll time it, so you don’t have to worry about that. When I tell you, you just have to name five things you see—anything will do.”
Roman had to corral his scattered attention, pulling away from the desperate worry that had been taking over. His gaze skittered away from Dr Elise, taking the rest of the room in.
The walls were a soft, hazy blue. There was a painting of a hill, grass swaying like waves in the wind, a swirl of movement. There was a counter against one of the walls with a sink, cupboards hanging above it. There was a trash can and a bin for medical waste. There was a whiteboard with markers in a tray attached to it. There was a clear bowl with lollipops. There were two empty sock puppets peeking out of a drawer.
“Okay,” Dr Elise interrupted, and Roman hadn’t noticed how deeply he was observing his surrounding until she spoke. “Can you name five things?”
Roman did, and then moved on to textures and sounds—any he could name, no amount necessary. At the end, they concentrated on their breathing, Roman’s heart slowing.
“Well done, Roman, that was great. You can lie back; I’m gonna put an IV in. No medication, just some nutrients and liquid to stabilise you after the Drop so it’s not so bad tomorrow.”
Roman lay as instructed. The doctor seemed nice, and she was a sub. Maybe she wasn’t lying about what was in that bag now connected by a line to his arm.
There was a question bubbling up in his chest, and he couldn’t push it down. “Is the punishment going to be tonight?” He knew he shouldn’t be asking, that it was his Dom’s prerogative, but he had to know, or his chest would cave in and pierce every soft bit of him.
A hollow silence followed by, “You’re not going to be punished, Roman. Not now, or at any point in your stay in this coven unless that’s a negotiated and agreed part of a relationship—although honestly, I don’t think that would be appropriate for you.”
Roman stared at her frown. He should have known a sub wouldn’t know about what he deserved. “Okay.”
Roman’s doubt must have shown on his face because she said, “Can I let Tyler in for a moment?”
Roman nodded.
Tyler looked worse for wear when he stepped inside, hurrying to his side immediately. “Hey. How are you feeling? Are you okay? Fuck, did I not give you enough liquid? Are you—”
Dr Elise interrupted him. “Tyler.”
Tyler stopped talking abruptly.
“I just wanted you in here to clear something up. Have you observed Roman behaving in any way that should be punished?”
Tyler responded almost before Dr Elise finished the question. “What?No.”
Dr Elise nodded at Roman. “Okay? That is not on the table. That isnothow we do things here.”
Roman frowned. “But I’m bad.” He’d never asked for a punishment—never would—but they couldn’t just believe he didn’tdeservethem.
“You may think that, based on your rules, but according to coven rules, you are not bad.”
