Page 27 of Oh, Sacred Dark
“Can you sit up?” Tyler asked and manoeuvred them so that Tyler leant on the bed’s headboard, Roman’s back against his chest, the food set on the bed beside them.
Roman didn’t know what to think, what to feel. He was still hazy and numb from the Drop—it was easier to just go with what was happening.
Tyler handed him a cup of orange juice with a “Try to drink it slowly.” There was a bowl half-full of salted almonds and another with kiwi. “Apparently it’s good to up serotonin. Or dopamine. I can’t remember,” Tyler said, pointing at the fruit.
Roman ate everything dutifully. He’d never felt like this after a Drop—this calm. He was usually exhausted and anxious and shaking, but he was currently melting into a puddle on Tyler’s lap. It was pathetic, but the mere fact someone wastouchinghim had Roman’s head swimming pleasantly, taken over by a deep longing.
But that was Roman all over—always selfishly seeking more. Tyler had taken him through aDrop, hadn’t even punished him yet, dealing with Roman’s defective body and taking nothing in return.
And yet all Roman could think about was how long he’d gone without the simplest touch. How he wanted it never to end, lulling him into a dopey state where he wouldn’t even be able to protect himself if something happened.
They rested for a while after the food was gone, Roman trying to stay alert in case something happened, but his eyelids drooped anyway. He could fall right to sleep instead of lying afraid and awake for hours on his bed like he usually did.
His doze was snapped in half when Tyler asked, “How are you feeling?”
“Good,” Roman replied, amazed that it was kind of true.
There was a pause. “Okay. We should go to the medic, though.”
Panic like a bright-red light flashed through him. “That’s—I don’t need that. I’m good, I promise.” He wanted to jerk out of Tyler’s gasp, scramble to the other side of the bed, but he was frozen to the spot.
“And that’s good, but a Drop is a serious medical event. I’m not an expert, but you need to be checked out to make sure everything is okay.”
Roman eventually managed to move away, unable to have his back to danger anymore. For a moment, it seemed Tyler wasn’t going to let him go, but then his hands released and Roman crawled away. He wanted to go on the floor, hide in the closet, but he settled for hugging his knees, eyes on Tyler’s chin.
He had no idea what the doctor was supposed to do to him, but it wouldn’t be good.
“Nothing’s wrong. This happens all the time. I’m just like this.”
If anything, that only deepened the concern on Tyler’s face. “When was the last time it happened?”
“Yesterday, and I’m fine, see? I’m fine.” The words sounded strange in Roman’s mouth. Hollow.
“How…how many times have you Dropped since you came here?” Tyler asked, voice neutral. Something in Roman made the truth come out.
“Just, like normal for somebody like me. Once every two days? Every day, maybe, at the start, and nothing bad happened. Please don’t tell anybody, I promise I can still do things—I can do whatever you want.” Maybe Tyler wanted to use Roman for something finally, was worried that his defection would make that untenable.
“I…” Tyler looked lost. “Roman.” It was said in a whisper, almost a breath.
That didn’t sound good.
Tyler lifted a hand when Roman went to talk. “Roman. That’s…thatcannotbe good for your body. You…we won’t tell anybody else, okay? Just the doctor. I’ll call her now and we’ll meet her in her local office. Just us three, and I can wait outside if you want.”
Roman could see that there would be no changing Tyler’s mind, and a Dom’s order was worse than law. “Okay,” he said, dread consuming him.
Roman managed to drag his wobbly body through the house, the cold, Tyler close the whole way. The doctor’s office—Dr Elise, apparently—smelt like expensive diffuser oil, some crisp flower that filled his empty head.
He filed into the consultation room. Tyler stayed outside.
The doctor was a tall, Black woman, braids in a large bun on her head. She had a wide smile and almond eyes and was, to Roman’s shock, a sub.
Roman sat on the exam bed, paper sheet crinkling under him. He winced at the noise, wondering what he could do to disappear.
“Hi, Roman. My name is Elise, I’m sure Tyler told you. How are you feeling?” Her face was deceptively kind-looking.
“Good. Really, I feel good. I don’t need a check-up,” Roman said, words tumbling over each other, eager to get out.
Dr Elise nodded indulgently. “I’m glad that you feel good, but it’s protocol to have a check-up after a Drop. A lot of people think Drops are things subs can control, but they’re physiological responses to dynamic-based stress which can have long-term effects on the body.”
