Page 35 of Oh, Sacred Dark
In the end, what they had described was not the love of movies, of orchestral highs, but a partnership that withstood the trials of life.
Tyler had put all of that feeling into the piece. Those emotions, those imagined memories—he’d held them deep inside him and let his magic use them to shape wood and metal into something sturdy, fluid, beautiful.
Tyler didn’t pause his monologue even when he noticed Roman gaining awareness—how he stiffened, his breath speeding up and then becoming a little more even as the minutes passed.
Finally, when Tyler felt Roman was fully conscious, he let his voice trail away before asking, “I’m gonna sit up with you, okay?”
Tyler manoeuvred them so he was settled facing outwards on the couch with Roman sitting on him, legs sprawled sideways, taking up most of the cushions.
“Here.” Tyler leant over, grabbing the electrolyte drink and the nutty bar he’d placed on the side table. He handed the bottle over first and, once Roman had drank obediently, the food. Tyler took one for himself, too, both to make sure he kept his sugar up after such an intense fall into Domspace and so that Roman didn’t feel awkward being the only one eating.
Tyler kept one of his arms securely around Roman’s waist, making sure not to touch anywhere inappropriate but giving the contact they both needed.
“How are you feeling?” Tyler asked when they’d finished their bars.
There was a little pause and then Roman’s soft voice. “Good.”
“How was the scene itself? You seemed to go down pretty easily.”
“Sorry,” Roman said quickly. “I-I didn’t even…what should I do?” He’d started trembling, a small earthquake against Tyler’s skin.
“Can you tell me a little about what you think I’m upset about? Because I thought you were perfect.”
Roman blinked at him with big, blue eyes. “But I didn’t do anything. I just…I’ve never gone down like that. I don’t know what happened.”
“Well…I can tell you what I saw happen? And you can tell me if it sounds right?” Tyler suggested.
Roman nodded hesitantly.
“Okay. Well. I chose a scene of kneeling, praising, and light touching. My goal was to get you to subspace. You reached subspace beautifully…not that there’s anything wrong with it taking longer, of course. It helped me go into Domspace, though, so I feel really good right now—thank you.”
The words were a little awkward in his mouth—he wasn’t used to being so stiff about the topic of scening. It had been a long time since he’d done anything with someone who didn’t have a lot of experience and who didn’t know pretty much what they did and didn’t like.
Roman looked completely lost, clearly not believing what Tyler was saying. “You…but you didn’t do anything,” he accused, going pale immediately at the harsh words. “I mean, I didn’t mean—”
“It’s okay. I didn’t do much, you’re right, but I don’t think we needed to—we’re compatible emotionally, and, in the end, that’s what gets people into a dynamic space—feeling trust and trusted. Feeling safe and protected.”
Roman nodded slowly, apparently still confused, but his perspective of dynamics wasn’t going to change after one scene.
“The important thing,” Tyler said, “is that you feel like your boundaries were respected and that you were kept safe while you were in subspace. Do you think that’s the case?”
Roman opened and closed his mouth a few times before saying, “Yes.”
“Good. That’s good, Roman. How about I put something on TV and we rest for a while? I can walk you home in a couple of hours?”
“Okay,” Roman agreed in a small voice.
“Okay.”
Tyler knew there was a long road ahead, but at least the first step hadn’t been a complete disaster.
**********
Tyler was trying not to spiral about Roman. It wasn’t useful to ruminate on every interaction they’d had, on how impatient Tyler had been in the past, how dismissive of Roman’s trauma.
Roman had come to the Meliora coven for a second chance, a fresh start, and the first person he’d had any real interaction with had been a complete dick.
He had a long talk with Archie about setting up a more standardised system for when they took people on from abusive situations—therapy, for one, should have been mandatory from the beginning. A third-party liaison would also not be the worst thing—it wasn’t a given that Archie and Tyler’s coven would always do the right thing, and they should be monitored to make sure they didn’t slip up.
