Page 32 of Oh, Sacred Dark
A pain was building up in his chest. “I wasn’t good for him either.”
Roman stared straight ahead as they walked to the Main House, but he couldfeelTyler frown. “What do you mean?”
Roman shrugged. “I’m just like this.” He was thankful for the shadows over them, how they obscured the tears that were dripping down, freezing his cheeks in the wind.
“That’s not how it works, though. Drops are a stress response. They aren’t part of who youare.”
Roman shrugged, letting the silence settle around them.
If Tyler was really his Dom now—the one punishing him—he’d eventually learn what rotten and dark things Roman was made of. How cowardly he was.
How worthless.
**********
Roman didn’t know if he was dreading the upcoming scene with Tyler. It felt like someone had taken a scalpel to his insides and extricated whatever made him care about what was happening to him.
He had just one day to prepare mentally—Dr Elise stressing the urgency of the matter. He managed to hold on by the skin of his teeth, turning himself into a numb, lumbering golem by the time he showed up at Tyler’s door. Tyler had offered to pick Roman up from the Main House and walk him there, but Roman was too wary of the scene starting in public.
“Roman. Hey, come in,” Tyler greeted as he opened the door.
Roman stepped inside, trying to take everything in while not being obvious about it. It was a decent-sized cottage for one or two people, a large living room greeting him, wood furnishings and plants by the windows. It led to an open kitchen at the back wall, a granite countertop dividing the two spaces.
Roman searched carefully with his gaze, but he found no St Andrew’s cross, or whips, or canes. Not even a neatly tied length of rope was in sight.
“You ate okay?” Tyler asked, checking if he had followed the orders Dr Elise had given him about eating healthily and plenty.
“Yes.”
“Cool. I’ll get you some water, but do you want anything else? I’ve got cranberry juice, grapefruit juice, ginger ale…”
Roman shook his head, still standing awkwardly by the entrance. “I’m okay.”
“All right. You can take your shoes and coat off and sit on the couch. I’ll get some water.”
Roman felt unease begin to swim in the pit of his stomach—he should have removed his shoes as soon as he got inside.
He looked at Tyler’s retreating form, but if he was angry, he was good at hiding it.
That didn’t bode well for Roman.
He did as asked, hand skittering over the worn material of the couch as he sat down. It was nice, dark green and probably pretty comfortable if Roman was dumb enough to let himself relax.
Roman made sure not to flinch when Tyler returned with two glasses, placing them on the coffee table and then settling at the other end of the couch.
“There you go. So, uh…how are you feeling?” Tyler ventured.
“Good,” Roman replied. What else was he supposed to say?Please don’t do this?Begging never worked with Doms.
“That’s good. I mean, obviously, since—anyway. I thought it’d probably be better if we got right to it in case you were worried about scening with a new Dom. That okay, or do you want to hang out first? We can watch a movie or something.”
Roman managed to keep the incredulity off his face, schooling his features as he stared at Tyler’s knees. This was the strangest test he had ever been put through. “Now is okay.”
“Okay. Great. Well…let’s cover basics tonight, okay? We’re not gonna do anything hard core, but we can map a little of what’ll work and what won’t before we begin. Sound good?”
Roman nodded. He wasn’t even going to try to figure out Tyler’s intentions.
“Okay. Do you have a specific safe word?”
