Page 76 of Fresh Ice
Alonso nodded slowly. What other option did he have?
Levy sighed in relief. “Okay.”
They sat there, finishing their food in excruciating silence. Eventually, Levy excused himself to tidy up, and Alonso let him go.
God, he was tired. He was so tired.
He made his way to the spare room quietly, shutting the door carefully and then curling up in the middle of the bed.
The window was open, a breeze brushing over him. It was late afternoon, evening not too far off, and he didn’t move as the shadows got longer, deeper, until it was dark outside.
He felt hollow. Spent.
How would they come back from this? Levy said he loved Alonso, but he’d be able to undo that eventually. He’d find a nice Omega, marry them, have children with them. Maybe Alonso would be a groomsman. Their child’s godparent.
Alonso, though, would be alone. He’d have to watch Levy’s life from the sidelines—partners in hockey but nothing else.
He’d taken suppressants since he was a kid, had swallowed every damning word his dad had thrown his way, was prepared to suffer concussions and broken bones and torn ligaments for his career. For his dream.
And he was supposed to give this up too?
The grief that thought caused almost undid him, a scalpel from neck to belly.
He loved Levy so much he was bursting with it. He didn’t want to just watch Levy build a life—he wanted to be part of it. Wanted to be a main reason for Levy’s happiness, for his safety and well-being.
Alonso stumbled out of bed, heart pounding. He was terrified of what would happen if they decided to be together—so many things could go wrong, but he couldn’t just let Levygo.
Alonso glanced at his phone. It was two in the morning.
He didn’t care. This couldn’t wait until past dawn.
He went into the living room tentatively, soft feet on the hardwood floor. He stopped in front of Levy’s bedroom door, a lump in his throat.
Be brave, he thought to himself.For once, be brave.
He knocked quietly. A startled-sounding, “Yeah?” drifted out a moment later.
Alonso opened the door. A glowing lamp revealed Levy lying on some couch cushions on the floor.
Alonso blinked at him. “What are you doing down there?”
Levy looked at the still-intact nest on the bed. “Didn’t wanna…mess it up yet.”
Something unbearably fond ripped through Alonso. “Can we get in it?”
Levy’s face crumpled. “Please don’t do this to me. I…”
Alonso stepped inside the cloud of their mixed scents—heat, and slick, and come, and want, and relief. “I’m sorry. I’m so stupid. I want this too.”
Levy’s eyes widened. “What?”
“I love you too. I just—you deserve more than—”
“No. None of that, come on.” Levy pulled him in, and they tangled up tother, half on a cushion, half on the floor.
Alonso wanted to crawl inside Levy and never leave. “I’m sorry. I was just scared. I didn’t know how to just take what you were giving me, but I want this so bad, Levy. Wantyouso much—want to be with you so much.”
“God,” Levy said, gripping him harder. “Yeah? You really—”
