Page 75 of Fresh Ice
Levy just leaned in and kissed him again. Alonso let himself fall into the sweetness of it.
Levy had a massive smile on his face when they pulled away, but a tight knot formed in Alonso’s gut.
Alonso would have to begin taking his suppressants the following day. He’d have to buy scent-neutralising soap and wash Levy from his skin.
The last week had been an escape from reality, but now it was all crashing on him.
“Hey,” Levy said softly. “What just happened? You’re okay. What’s going through your mind?”
Alonso could barely swallow the next bite. Everything had twisted all of a sudden, what had felt good moments before turning sour. “What are we doing? This is all just…pretend. What’s going to happen when we go back to New York? When…when the guys start asking questions about why we’re still single, why we won’t pick up. About—”
“Whoa, whoa. Okay, let’s slow down. Why worry about something that hasn’t happened yet?” Levy asked naïvely.
Alonso shook his head, spiralling out of control. That was easy for Levy to say, but Alonso had so much more on the line.
“Hey,” Levy said softly. “You’re gonna hurt yourself if you keep doing that.”
Alonso realised he’d been chewing on his nails again and dropped his hand.
Levy sighed. “If this is about your dad…”
“This isn’t about my dad. This is aboutus.”
Levy stared at him seriously. “I’m not playing pretend here, Olive. I’m in this for real. You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met, and I love you so much. I…I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And I know there’ll be difficulties, but I think this is worth it. Don’t you?”
For a split second, bright as the sun peeking through thick clouds, Alonso let himself imagine it. Let himself believe that this was a world where he would have Levy.
But the sky darkened a moment later as reality pressed upon him—the idea was absurd. All any hockey player wanted was to have an Omega who could provide them with a family. Who could give them the stability needed to survive life in the NHL.
Alonso would never be able to do that. Wouldn’t be able to have children soon—if ever. Would force Levy to keep his secret. Would deprive him of loving in the open, of having a life with that joy.
And Alonso…he could admit his trepidation wasn’t just about what Levy would go through. He was terrified of what the consequences of a relationship with Levy could mean for him. If anybody found out and started asking questions, Levy would come out of it shamed, but still with the security of being an Alpha in the NHL.
Alonso? He would end up an outcast.
He’d worked so hard to get where he was—in the best hockey league in the world, the future of a franchise. The very idea of giving that up made him sick to his stomach.
Hockey was all he was worth. He’d be nothing without it.
“I can’t.” Alonso tried to catch his breath, lungs squeezing the air out of him.
Levy’s face hardened with determination. “Olive—”
“Levy, I can’t. Ican’t. This isn’t…I don’t want that.” It was the biggest lie he’d ever told.
Levy’s eyes shuttered. “Oh.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s…you don’t owe me anything.”
Alonso was shaking. “I’ll return home. I’m sorry—”
That snapped Levy awake. “No. No, Olive—please. Stay here. Or with my parents. Or I’ll stay with my parents.PleaseOlive, don’t go back to your dad.”
Alonso gaped at him. How could Levy still ask that after being rejected? How could he still care that much? “I…”
“Give it a few days, okay? You still have to get your scent under control, right? So. We can make a plan when we both smell like normal.”
