Page 12 of Brother
Nathandidn’t know whether tocall what happened next a kiss. It was more like a force of naturecrashing over him, stripping all thought. But then Simon pulledaway for just a second, and when he returned his lips were as softas they were demanding, a desperate sound escaping them, a soundNathan had heard come from himself in dreams.
An excruciating,blindingfire filledNathan. Simon’s tongue was in his mouth, licking, eating him up,and all Nathan’s wanting body could do was arch, lips pressingback, hands grabbing at Simon with the greed that comes aftermalnourishment.
“Nate. Nate,Nate, Nate,” Simon panted into him, a hand threading throughNathan’s hair andpulling.
A stuttered crycame out of Nathan, andSimon kissed him again as if he wanted to swallow the noise up.Nathan was burning; he couldn’t think, felt himself sink into thedirt as Simon blanketed him completely, like he wanted both of themto become part of the forest.
Nathan hadworked so hard to keep this under lock and key. So fucking hard,for sofucking long, andnow just a touch of Simon’s lips and it was all stampeding out,leaving nothing but destruction in its wake.
Simon moved justenough to slip his hand into Nathan’s shorts. It was hot, and large, andall-encompassing. All Nate could do was squirm and whine as Simonstroked him slowly, tightly, just how he liked.
“That’s it,”Simon whispered. “That’s it, baby. You’re fucking mine.”
Pleasure andfire and love and a million otherthings bit at his muscles, raced up his spine, dugtheir claws into the arteries around his heart.
Belonging toSimon like this couldn’tbe real, and yet there he was, in the loam with Simon’s hand aroundhis cock, body a canopy over him.
Nathan openedhis eyes. He didn’t knowwhat he’d expected—for Simon to be looking somewhere else, to bethinking about someone else, as ridiculous as that seemed. But hewasn’t. He was staring right at Nathan, a connection so tangible hefelt it like a touch beneath his skin, covered in blood andwater.
“Please,” Nathanwhispered. He was so close already. The pleasure was dissolving himat the edges. He was going to melt into the trees. IntoSimon.
Simon picked upthe pace, digging his thumb into the underside ofNathan’scock.
Nathanwrapped his arms around him,shaking in Simon’s embrace, and came.
It was likenothing he’d experiencedbefore. A current from the deepest part of him, all those secretsstored like sediment in a silent sea rushing forwards at once,rubbing his insides raw.
The silencethatfollowed was filledwith both of them. Simon was trembling too, cradling the back ofNathan’s head, looking at him with a tenderness thathurt.
Nathan couldbarely stand a second of it. After all that heat, he was left cold.He shoved Simon away,watching him tumble and then crouch like a creature in thenight.
Nathan wrappedhis arms around himself.“What the fuck? What the fuck?” His teeth were chattering.He couldn’t get a grip on himself, thoughts sliding around in themossy slime of his head.
“Nate—”
But Nathancouldn’t listen—heran.
**********
Nathan was sickwith the suspicion that what had happened in the forest was hisfault. That he’d wantedit too much. That Simon had known, had figured it out, and hadjust…givenit to him.That Nathan had manipulated his brother into his own fantasies—hadpulled away until Simon had been desperate to be close to himagain.
The thoughts,loud and overwhelming most of the time,flickered uncertainly when the vision of Simon’sface over him swam into his mind. His dark eyes, the possessivewant in them dripping down, thick as honey and just assweet.
The way he hadsaid,“That’s it, baby. You’re fucking mine.”
How the fuck wasNathan supposed to fit that into all of this? Into hisyears-long certaintythat he wanted something that would disgust Simon?
How was hesupposed to believe that allhis desire was reciprocated, just like that?
Nathan made sureto be away from the house for thenext couple of days. Took his bike and went to thelake alone, ignoring his sisters’ questioning glances, his parents’worried ones when he arrived after dinner, skipping every familymeal.
Hecouldn’t look at Simon.Couldn’t face whatever expression was there.
Nathan shouldhave known his mom wouldn’t let him get away with that for long.
He jumpedguiltily from where he was bent over the kitchen counter, eatinghiscold dinnerstanding, as she cleared her throat behind him.
“Hey, Mom,” hegreeted sheepishly.
