Page 8 of Brother
**********
In the end, Simon might just as well have gone withhim for all the difference it made. Nathan spent all evening withhis friends thinking about his brother. He imagined Simon lastOctober, freshly arrived at college, lost and scared in a way heusually wasn’t. Nathan had been so caught up in his own problemsthat he’d forgotten how vulnerable Simon could be beneath itall—that maybe he took as much courage from Nathan as he gaveback.
It was strange, how well you could know a personwhile misinterpreting your influence on their life.
It was late by the time Nathan arrived home, thehouse shrouded in silence. He went upstairs slowly, glancing at thelack of light and noise coming from Simon’s room, before continuingto his own.
He washed his face, brushed his teeth, and changedinto the threadbare shorts he used as pyjamas and just…stood there.Stared at his empty bed and felt empty in turn.
Without overthinking it, he treaded softly intoSimon’s room, closing the door behind him and slipping under thesheets.
Simon was awake, judging by the stiffness of hisbody, but Nathan wrapped himself around him regardless.
“Idowant you there,” Nathan confessed, themere splinter of a whisper into the night.
Simon shifted slightly, letting his body relax. Hedidn’t say anything, but he threaded his fingers throughNathan’s.
That was enough, for now.
~~~~~~~~~~
When Nathan wasin high school, he never really cared what people thought ofhim.He knew he was abit of a nerd—did all his homework way ahead of time, enjoyedchallenging classes, and resented anybody who thought they couldcopy off his work unless it was his brother.
Honestly, asmuch as Nathan appreciated his friends, he preferred to spend timewith animals. Hisdadwas allergic to fur, and his mom just didn’t want a pet in thehouse, so he’d made do with going to the shelter to pet the dogs ortake care of the sick cats. There was a phase where he literallycouldn’t stop talking about salamanders—they were fucking awesome,and nobody was convincing him otherwise.
That particularhyper-fixationdidn’tearn him any social points in school, that was for sure, but Nathanjust didn’t care.
Simon, as if toovercompensate, careda lot.
Simon always hada big group offriends—hewas certainlya people person—and made Nathan tag along, sometimes. Nathan didn’tmind, got to see Simon in his element, face alive, hands animated,making the people around him glow with reflected light.
Some of thepeople Simon hung outwith, though, weren’t so keen on Nathan.
“Ah, man, notthe nerd again,” Chez complained—a stupid nickname for a douchebagof a person, if you asked Nate. “He kills the vibe.”
Chez was lucky Simonwas off getting drinks. It was way too early in this house party tostart a fight.
Nathan raisedhis eyebrows at Chez, embarrassment and anger buzzing through him.It wasn’t likeNathancaredabout whatthis dumbass thought of him, but it wasn’t exactly his idea of funto be called out practically as soon as he stepped into theparty.
Simonhad always insisted, ever sincethey were kids,“You’re not boring,”but, well, Nathan didn’t drink or smoke or dance, really.He didn’t flirt with girls or know much about sports beyond whatSimon participated in. He just liked to chat with people and stayclose to Simon.
“Whatever,”Nathan mumbled, prompting Chez to roll his eyes.
Luckily, anyfurther exchange was interrupted by Simon appearingwith the drinks, nodding atChez, whose attitude did a total one-eighty.
“Monny, my man,”he said, holding out a fist. Simon bumped it with a dismissive nod,turning to Nathan.
“Let’s go out tothe yard. They’re playing beer pong.” Simon nudgedNathan.
“I don’t playbeer pong,” Nathan muttered even as he moved towards the openscreen doors.
“Uh, yeah.You’re my cheerleader, obviously.”
“Obviously,”Nathan said, rolling his eyes, but a smile tugged at hislips.
Nathan had hopedthat would be the lastthey’d see of Chez that night, but the guy was everywhere,following Simon around like a lost puppy. And maybe some peoplewould say that Nathan did the same, but it was kind of the otherway around.
If Nathanstarted looking bored outside, Simon would suggest they go sit onone of the couches, find someone cool to talk to. If Nathanmentioned itwas toohot, Simon would be guiding them outside to get some freshair.
