Page 45 of Fruit
I get lost in it.
We part when the high of orgasm has lowered enough to dip us back into reality. I pull away, and we watch each other for a moment before I raise up slightly, helping Sebastián get his jeans and boxers on. In turn, he slides the straps of my bra up my arms and I get the contraption around my tits before sliding to the side and off him. I leave my legs draped over his lap, however, and one of his hands rests below my bare knee.
“So…that happened,” I say. His lips quirk up in that familiar way, like he’s laughing at me but not really.
“Yeah.”
“Yeah.” I look at him, and suddenly, it’s a bit much. The way I feel around him and the way his thumb is moving slightly against my skin. “I don’t really…do…serious,” I say. The words just sort of come out.
There’s a pause that’s almost a little too long.
“All right,” he says, but there’s a tiny little frown between his brows.
“I mean. We can. You know. Do the whole…friends with benefits thing,” I say and watch his frown deepen slightly.
“I think I’m a little old for that,” he says. My heart skips because this can’t be the last time I’m allowed to touch him.
“Dude, that’s—I mean, obviously if you’re not into it, it’s fine, but, like, anybody can have a relationship with someone which doesn’t involve monogamous commitment but involves sex. Actually, a healthy version of that kind of relationship takes a fair bit of maturity, so…but I get it, if you don’t—”
“No,” he cuts me off, and my teeth clack shut. “I get what you’re saying.”
He looks at me. His face has returned to its still, closed-off state. His hand is still on my leg, no longer stroking me but warm and present. I almost feel like holding my breath.
“All right,” he says eventually. I bite my lip.
“All right?”
“Well, we’re already co-parenting a cat so…I guess friends with benefits is the natural evolution of this relationship,” he says, a small smile on his face.
I snort out a laugh, trying not to smile too widely.
“Okay, then. So. Sex. Co-parenting. No exclusivity. No commitment. No mushy emotions. If we think we can’t keep any of those up, we talk to each other and put on the brakes,” I say, laying out the boundaries even though something about them makes me itch slightly under my skin.
He looks at me before finally nodding. “All right,” he says again. I smile at him, giving him a quick kiss. I slide my legs off his lap and miss the warmth of his hands the second it falls away.
“I should book an Uber,” I say as I put my dress on.
“I could—”
“It’s okay,” I say, reaching over to my bag that’s resting on the coffee table and fishing my phone out. I book the car in silence before looking up. “Maybe I should leave Nina here this week? Let her rest?” I ask.
“Yeah, that might be a good idea. We can do something else tomorrow, if you want,” he offers, and I just about manage not to let my surprise at the offer show.
“Oh. Like what?”
“There’s an open gallery at Trent Park, I don’t know if you’ve—”
“Oh, yeah, I’ve been meaning to go. It’s supposed to be really good.”
“Well, we can go tomorrow, if you want.”
“Uh—yeah. Sure. That sounds good,” I say, trying not to look awkward because my stomach is churning and it’s not an altogether unpleasant feeling. It’s like the swoop you get when you’re on a rollercoaster and you’re scared but you want more, somehow.
There’s a danger sign the size of a billboard in front of me, but I’m blinded from it by the simple curve of Sebastián’s smile.
