Page 29 of I've Walked Where You've Been
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Matty tried to navigate his phone awkwardly with one hand, his other arm wrapped around Ethan as they cuddled in bed. It was with some irony that Matty thought back to when they’d grudgingly sit arm-to-arm for some contact when now they cuddled as much as they possibly could.
“Matty?” Ethan said softly from where his head was resting on Matty’s chest.
“Hm?” Matty replied distractedly but lowered his phone when a long pause followed. “Hey. You okay?” he asked, jostling Ethan a little.
“Yeah. I just…” Ethan didn’t look up, leaving Matty to stare at the top of his head. “I just wanted to say that I, you know. Really like you.”
Matty blinked. “Oh. Well. I love you, so.”
Ethan jerked his head up, almost hitting Matty on the chin, expression surprised before it broke into a grin. “Oh my God.” He muffled laughter into Matty’s neck. “Why do you always have to one-up me?”
“I’m just saying it like it is.”
“Urgh. I love you too. I wanted to say it first.”
“Well, maybe next time don’t go with ‘I really like you’ like a high-schooler,” Matty teased. He jerked and yelped loudly as Ethan pinched his side. “Hey! Thathurt. First you really like me, then you abuse—ow! Stop,” he whined.
“I take it back,” Ethan grumbled, even though Matty could still feel him smiling against his neck. “I don’t like you at all.”
“Well, I still love you, so.”
“Urgh, stop.”
“I refuse to do any such thing, actually.”
“You’re the worst,” Ethan said happily.
Matty wondered what people without a romantic bond did to find a partner. It was terrifying enough, putting himself out there even with the certainty of Ethan’s love in his head. How did people just…guess? How did people just hope for the best and say ‘I love you’ without knowing with certainty that it would be said back?
Then again, it wasn’t like Ethan didn’tshowit. It wasn’t like Matty didn’tfeelloved when Ethan would crawl into his bed and press against him and sigh contentedly when they moulded together. When Ethan would point out the stuff Matty was good at, knowing that was something that Matty was insecure about. When he did a million little things that showed Matty, ‘I’m thinking about you.’
Maybe it wasn’t the bond that told Matty that Ethan loved him. Maybe it was just him.
“I’m the best and you know it,” Matty countered.
Ethan hummed teasingly, leaning up on one elbow to give Matty a teasing smile. “I don’t know…I think I need some hard proof.”
“Well, how about you fuck me, and then you can tell me how perfect I am?” Matty suggested shamelessly.
Ethan’s smile froze, his face going bright red. “Oh, my God.”
Matty burst into delighted laughter at Ethan’s expression.
“Oh my God, were you joking?” Ethan protested.
“No, I wasn’t, but your face was hilarious.”
Ethan grumbled something under his breath and sat up so that he was straddling Matty. Matty’s laughter petered out at Ethan’s serious expression. “Do you really want me to fuck you?”
Matty swallowed. “Yeah.” He’d been thinking about it for a while—Ethan inside him, filling him up. He loved sucking cock, but it wasn’t the same. Or, at least, he guessed it wasn’t, seeing as he’d never done it before.
“Yeah?” Ethan said, soft this time, leaning over to kiss Matty.
“Yeah,” Matty repeated, just mouthing the words as he returned the kiss.
He let himself fall into it. Into the familiar shape and feel of Ethan’s mouth, at the way his tongue would lap at Matty’s not too deep, but taking control, dictating the pace. He allowed himself to get lost in Ethan’s legs squeezing around his middle, the way his hands gripped Matty’s hair, keeping him in place, keeping him safe and surrounded and consumed.
