Page 19 of I've Walked Where You've Been
He’d just wanted to do something nice for Ethan, okay? They’d been shitty to each other for so long, it was a relief to know that Ethan didn’t think that he was a moron, a relief to be able to find the best in him, instead of focusing on the worst.
A relief to have someone in your head you actually kind of wanted to be there.
The aquarium turned out to be completely fucking awesome. Matty’d never been to one, and although he’d expected to mostly humour Ethan and his interests, it was Matty that stood gaping at the tanks.
“Why are jellyfish so fucking awesome? Those tentacles arehuge. Are they smart, do you think?”
“No, they’re one of the most primitive animals ever, so they don’t really have any advanced behaviours. They’re just like…a bowl of jelly with enough sense to get food.”
Matty laughed. “So they just like…float around without knowing they float around?”
“Well…I mean there’s different kinds of jellyfish, I guess, with different abilities? Like, there’s the box jellyfish, which is one of my favourites. They havetwenty-foureyes. Just, eyes everywhere, three-sixty vision. They have four types of eyes, some more advanced, and some more primitive, and they can react to light and dark and stuff, which is pretty advanced for a jellyfish. Like, they navigate themselves, which, yeah, a lot of really old and simple organisms can’t do.”
Matty steadfastly ignored how fucking adorable it was that Ethan had a favourite type of jellyfish. “There’s a lot of freaky shit in the ocean.”
“I mean, it contains ninety-nine percent of living space on the planet, and it’s so full of life. If you swallow one mouthful of ocean water, you’ve just consumed hundreds of thousands of phytoplankton and like tens of thousands of zooplankton.”
“Uhm…gross.”
“But also, cool? Like, how? There is so much cool stuff…there must bea lotof freaky shit to discover.”
“Sounds like you want to do some of the discovering.”
“Hell, yes. That would be amazing. I hope there’s enough technology in the future that allows us to explore more of the ocean.”
Ethan beamed at Matty, an expression so bright that it went right through Matty’s skin and muscle and into his organs, making them twist.
“Still,” Ethan went on, “we’d have to think about it together. I don’t want to, you know. Drag you around again. When we confirm our majors we can figure out what the next step is.”
Matty stared at Ethan’s profile. “I mean…yeah, I guess…that’ll be cool. Idolike the ocean, though.”
Ethan nodded, but he was frowning. “I know I already said this, but it sucks that me saying you have some control over your future surprises you. And don’t come up with excuses, please. What I did was beyond shitty.”
Matty sighed. “Apology accepted. Let’s move on, yeah? Anyway, there are eels to look at, come on.”
Ethan shot him a grateful, troubled expression, but Matty just pulled him along. It wasn’t useful to revisit the same topics over and over anymore. He was ready for things to finally change.
They walked around for a long time, Ethan talking more and more openly, gesturing to the tanks animatedly with a ‘and did you know loads of fish can change their sex?’and ‘coral has been used to replace bone grafts.’
“What the fuck, is that true?Coral?” Matty asked.
“Yeah, google it!”
“I mean, I trust you, it’s just fucking crazy.”
“Iknow,” Ethan practically shouted, making a family look over. Matty laughed as Ethan went bright red.
“Dude, your head is fucking full of facts. That’s so cool. I wish you could just share some through the bond, like inThe Matrix.”
Ethan snorted. “I mean, I can just tell them to you. It’s not like I’m going anywhere.”
That last bit made Matty’s chest cave in a little. Obviously, heknewthat, but…it was different knowing you were going to be stuck with someone versus having someone by your side. Having someone likeEthanby your side.
The ride back to the dorms was just as quiet as the first one, but it felt different this time. Contented, tired, like the feeling of returning home after a long day at the beach.
Still, Matty couldn’t shake off the fact that he’d never seen Ethan that excited, that open and talkative. That Ethan had never felt like sharing that side of himself with Matty before.
“Hey…” Matty said as they went into their room. “I just wanted to say…I mean, I had a lot of fun.”
