Page 7 of Crybaby
“You are like child,” Sasha protested, but Jason could tell he was trying not to laugh. Despite Sasha’s dramatic sighing, Jason managed to pull him into the Party and Costume Store.
“Oh my God, Sasha…I can’t believe they made a mask of your face,” Jason cried out, pointing at a drooping rubber mask of a scarred, wart-covered witch.
“Ha-ha, yes, amazing. Look, of you too.” Sasha pointed at a truly horrific mask of a diseased-looking pig.
“That’s actually Mitchy…the sad effects of lead poisoning.”
Sasha tried to cover his snort of laughter by pushing Jason into a display of light sabres.
“Ow, you freak! Oh, you wanna go? Is that it, big guy?”
Sasha didn’t even wait for a reply, yanking a light sabre and whacking Jason on the ass with it.
“Ow! You fucking…”
Jason grabbed one of the toys and went straight for Sasha’s dick because if you’re gonna play, play to win. Sasha managed to twist just in time for the sword to hit his hip.
Sasha stared at him incredulously before narrowing his eyes. “Oh, you want?”
“Give it to me, big guy.”
What proceeded to take place was less of a dignified fight and more of an uncoordinated squabble, which included: yanking of hair, biting—although Jason maintained he did no such thing—various attempts at dick-harming from both sides, a noogie, and a hit to the ear that had Jason howling like a cat.
“You maimed me!”
“What is maimed? I do nothing. You just—”
A voice to their right cut into their argument. “Excuseme.”
They both turned to look at the pimply teenage boy wearing a purple vest and nametag, currently glaring at them, hands on his hips and everything. Jason and Sasha untangled themselves from where they’d been trying to push at each other’s faces.
The teenager looked on disapprovingly. “I think you should leave.”
“Uh, sorry,” Jason said, picking up the light sabres that had fallen on the floor when the fight had devolved into a schoolyard brawl.
“Yes, so sorry. Nothing broken, we go now.”
Sasha hustled Jason out, red-faced.
“Oh my God,” Jason choked out, trying not to laugh. “I can’t believe we just got told off by a teenager. We’re literally children.”
“Youchild. You started it.”
“Oh, yeah, the guy who says ‘you started it’ is the responsible adult. Sure, buddy. Keep telling yourself that.”
Sasha sighed explosively before looking at Jason. “Food?”
“Hell yes, I’m starving.”
“Losing make you hungry.”
“Don’t even start. Iobviouslywon.”
“Says man who was crying over little hit on ear.”
“First of all, the cartilage on the ear is a very sensitive part of the body, so, jot that down.Secondly—”
The argument carried them through ordering food and sitting at a table, Jason with two giant slices of pizza in front of him, Sasha having chosen a selection of Chinese food.
