Page 23 of Crybaby
“It’s fine.”
“No. Move, I want to…”
Sasha manoeuvred him until Jason was sitting on Sasha’s stomach to jerk him off lazily. The angle was a little awkward, what with Sasha being slumped practically bonelessly on the bed, but Jason was definitely not complaining. He watched Sasha watch the way his hand moved on Jason’s dick, palm cupping around the head every now and then to rub it wetly before returning to a steady rhythm.
It didn’t take long. Jason was beyond worked up, and the sight of Sasha’s tear-stained face was not helping his stamina.
He moaned as he came, adding to the mess on Sasha’s chest, visions of crying angels swirling around his head.
“Fuck, that was good,” he groaned, collapsing forwards.
Sasha wrapped his arms around Jason again. “I’m good in bed, yes?”
Jason laughed. “Yeah. You sure are.”
“You too. Make good team.”
Sadness and happiness and pride and love and sorrow mixed all together in his chest. “Yeah, we do.”
Jason closed his eyes, tucking his face against Sasha’s. They needed to shower, and, eventually, Jason needed to actually confront himself about what the fuck he was doing.
For now, though, he could rest.
CHAPTER SIX
Jason and Sasha’s relationship seemed to become encased in a bubble that somehow avoided being popped. Almost every time they hung out now ended with them fooling around, be it just making out lazily on the couch with it never going beyond that, or writhing in bed, sweaty and desperate for each other.
Jason couldn’t get enough of Sasha. Of Sasha’s body, of the noises he made, of his tears. They never did anything at the office, but Jason still thought about it while he was working and, judging by Sasha’s smirks, he’d noticed.
It almost felt like the gay teenagedom that they both never had—that so many queer people never have. The insatiable nature of their desire, the playfulness of it quickly dipping into intensity. Jason relished in Sasha’s open curiosity, and the way he would shamelessly ask for things like they had been pent up for decades and were all releasing at once. He couldn’t help but feel that Sasha wouldn’t be as confident with anybody else—that Jason, as much as it hurt sometimes, was allowing Sasha to truly embrace his sexuality without any overt shame.
Whereas before Jason’s mind was filled with imaginings of what Sasha might look like under him, now it was brimming with more memories of him than Jason knew what to do with. Of Sasha on his hands and knees, letting Jason fuck the tight space between his thighs, wet and dripping with lube. Of how he looked as Jason fingered him—three fingers in his ass, three fucking his mouth, gagging and choking and moaning in the muffled, desperate way Jason loved so much.
The only thing they didn’t do was talk about it. Sasha probably because he thought there was nothing to talk about, and Jason because he didn’t know how. But, God did hethinkabout it. About how every kiss and touch and sweet, tender word was a stake cleaved a little deeper into the earth. About how it would end eventually. Would Jason see it coming, feel Sasha lose interest, feel him shake Jason off casually, returning to their easy friendship in degrees? Or would it crash upon him one day when Sasha, impetuous as ever, decided he’d had enough, or learnt enough, or was confident enough now to go out on his own?
Maybe Sasha would find someone else, someone that would make him feel like Jason felt, but without the pain.
And Jason wouldn’t begrudge him that. Jason was sure—there wouldn’t be any anger or resentment. He had entered this agreement with his eyes fully open—fully consenting not only to what was to happen, but that it would have an end.
There would be no anger, but God, would it hurt.
**********
“I have idea,” Sasha said the moment he entered Jason’s living room, dropping a suspicious-looking plastic bag on the coffee table. Jason turned down the volume on the TV.
“What’s that?”
Sasha flopped onto the couch next to Jason. “I tell you if you wait a moment. Is part of idea.”
“Looks suspicious.”
“How look suspicious? Is plastic bag, is opposite of suspicious.”
“It’s suspicious becauseyou’resuspicious.”
“So many sweet words you say to me. Please, a few more.”
Jason snorted. “What’s the idea, then?”
