Page 61 of Paint Eater
“There you go.” He gripped Logan’s thighs to keep him in place.
He picked up the force of his thrusts, long, sharp movements aimed at dragging every inch that he had across Logan’s prostate.
“Shit! Fuck, oh my—Jay. Jay, Jay.”
“That’s it. You look so fucking good, I can’t even…fuck, baby, jerk yourself off for me.”
Logan did so at once, the cords of his neck standing out as he cried out loudly. He was trembling, twitching and gasping for air. All Jay could do was stare at him and push in and out of his body, watching Logan fall apart.
Jay could tell Logan was going to come a moment before it happened. His body tensed, clenching around Jay’s cock as Logan moaned loud and long, spine arching.
Jay fucked him through it, drinking the sight in, the sheer, pained expression of bliss on his face.
Once it was obvious from the whimpers Logan was letting out that he was too sensitive, Jay yanked the pillow from under him, changing the angle. He made sure he wasn’t overwhelming Logan before fucking into him quickly, pursuing his own pleasure.
Jay came soundlessly, curling into Logan as it shot through him, searing a path that cauterised as soon as it was razed open.
It took a while for Jay to be able to move again, both of them moaning at the aches becoming apparent as they stretched out their limbs. Jay took care of the condom, grabbing some tissue and perfunctorily cleaning Logan up so he could collapse practically on top of him.
“Fuck,” Jay said with feeling. “You good?”
“Yes, Jay, I’m good,” Logan said, tone both sarcastic and amused.
“Just making sure,” Jay replied, tilting his head so they were looking at each other, and, very suddenly, he just couldn’t help himself. “I like you so fucking much, Logan. So, so much.”
He regretted it as soon as it came out of his mouth. They both knew what this was—a goodbye. There was no space for something like those words, here.
Logan closed his eyes, looking pained. All of the earlier calm had been completely obliterated.
“Sorry,” Jay whispered. “Sorry, sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
Logan shook his head, throwing an arm over his eyes. “I…” He wet his lips. “I just don’t know how to, how to…” He let out a shuddering breath.
“It’s okay. It’s okay.”
Logan shook his head again, removing the arm from his face, eyes bright and wet. “No, fuck that. You know I like you too. I fucking…you know, right? You know.”
Jay felt his body jolt with pain and longing. “Yeah. Yeah, I know.”
He gathered Logan close, his trembling body and wet face, and knew that whatever they felt wasn’t enough to change anything.
**********
The drive back to New York seemed to go by in a flash. Jay dreaded every mile the car ate up, and yet he didn’t know what to do with the few hours theydidhave. There was no point in bridging the space between him and Logan.
By the time Logan parked in front of Jay’s house, the space inside his ribs felt heavy and lifeless.
Jay didn’t move for a long while. Logan didn’t say anything, both of them staring out the windshield.
“I guess…I guess this is goodbye, huh?” Jay finally said.
Logan looked down at his lap. “Yeah.”
Jay nodded, taking a deep breath. “Just…don’t forget to be happy, okay?” He leaned forwards and pressed a soft kiss against Logan’s cheek before getting out of the car.
Jay could barely breathe by the time he made it into his apartment, eyes misty with tears.
“Jay?” His mom appeared from the kitchen, her expression saddening as she saw him. “Oh, baby. Come here.”
