Page 14 of Paint Eater
“Scared?” Jay teased, throwing a look at Logan.
“Please,” Logan scoffed, and he really didn’t seem scared despite the dubious safety of any fire escape in Brooklyn.
Jay offered Logan a hand up when he got to the roof, which Logan ignored with a scornful look that made Jay laugh and step away.
“Grumpy,” Jay said. Logan snapped his teeth at him like an enraged dog, making Jay smile wider. “All right! Wild thing.”
They sat at the edge of the building’s roof, towards where the sun was dipping down. There were a few clouds overhead glowing pink in the coming twilight.
“So, you, like, have you done this sort of thing?” Jay asked, words hopping out of his mouth before he could give them context.
“Seen a sunset?” Logan replied sardonically.
“I mean like, the whole casual sex thing. Is that what you do?”
Logan turned back to the horizon. “Why does that matter?”
“It doesn’t, I guess,” Jay confessed. It hit him then how difficult it was to get anything personal out of Logan, as if every question had an ulterior motive he had to figure out before responding. “I’m just curious.”
“Well, what about you? Areyouinto the ‘whole casual sex thing’?” Logan probed with a tone that implied that the question was meant to show Jay how intrusive he was being.
Jay scratched the back of his head thoughtfully. The sky was bruising now, the broken capillaries under the surface letting the night out. “I mean, not sure I would say I’m into it exactly? I guess, I mean, I’ve never been in a relationship, so I guess everything I’ve done is pretty casual? Maybe I’m on the wrong apps.”
Jay didn’t like one-night stands and had never had one, but it wasn’t that Jay was opposed to casual sex—he’d had some damn good experiences with people he knew weren’t in it for a long-term relationship. He’d lost his virginity to a girl he often did graffiti pieces with, and the first guy he got with was a friend of an acquaintance. He’d seen both of them more than once, and it’d been…good.
The people Jay was with just didn’t seem to want to get… ‘distracted from life.’ Maybe, in their opinions, there were better things out there than being obligated by some unwritten relationship contract to spend time with Jay. Or maybe they just didn’t want to be obligated to spend time with anybody at all.
Jay wasn’t like that. He’d always loved throwing himself headfirst into things, had always had difficulty holding back withanything, let alone with people.
When Jay glanced at him, Logan was looking a little surprised, no doubt at Jay being open about his experiences. It was ironic, considering that Jay thoughtLoganwas the weird one for being so secretive about somethingtheywere going to do.
That was a lesson he’d learnt plenty in his life, however. People tended to have more boundaries than Jay, period.
Logan frowned for a moment. “What apps?”
“Like, Tinder? I mean, I tried Grindr but, wow. A little too hard-core for me.”
“Right,” Logan sighed out.
“I’m guessing you’re not on any apps.”
“Nope.”
“Too distracting?” Jay asked, keeping his tone light.
Logan huffed out a laugh, but it lacked humour. “I guess.”
Jay wasn’t surprised. Not only because Logan didn’t seem the type to have enough social energy to spend on dating apps, but because he probably got laid easily due to his looks—the whole ‘tall, dark, and brooding’ thing he had going on.
Even his stoic demeanour was bound to attractsomekind of people. It’d worked for Jay, at least.
Jay ran his fingers across the dirty concrete they were sitting on. “Do you just like guys?”
“Yeah.”
Jay imagined what kind of person had been with Logan before him. What they’d done together. If they’d seen Logan the way Jay had, all broken open and desperate. Had heard those noises he’d made, if they’d gripped the nape of Logan’s neck and felt him melt.
Fuck, he was going to get hard if he kept thinking about that.
