Page 29 of Honeythorn
Raphael nodded.
“It has become quite clear to me that it is not love, or friendship, or even companionship that you sought in this marriage. I hope you can forgive me for hoping otherwise in the beginning. I assure you, I have been thoroughly disabused of those notions.”
Lord Raphael flinched. Milan couldn’t say he was unhappy to see that he at least partly regretted last night’s actions.
“I would be happy to be civil with you, as, despite how much you dislike the idea, we will have to remain tied for the rest of our lives.”
Lord Raphael opened and closed his mouth before simply nodding.
“However, I believe we should still eat dinner together. It would not do to be such strangers as to not recognise one another down the street. We will have to attend some balls and public functions and will have to keep appearances—not for vanity, but for morale. You understand?”
Lord Raphael gave him a long look. “Yes. Dinner is fine.”
Milan was a little surprised at the easy agreement, having prepared more arguments, but he nodded. The truth was that Milan was exhausted after a sleepless night, and although he had not wanted to delay the conversation, he didn’t want to fight either. However, this was not all Milan had to say.
“There is one more thing I need to make clear.” Milan took a step forwards, and although practically the whole room was still between them, it felt good to take some control over their proximity. “You will never speak to me the way that you did last night,” Milan said, his voice hard.
Lord Raphael’s eyes widened. Milan forged on.
“I understand anger and expressing it. But speaking to me like I am beneath you, looming over me, banging the table—I will not tolerate that. I would like to remind you that you agreed to this marriage. I did not trick you into it. You do not want me. Fine. But it was your decision to have me here, so do not suggest I have invaded, or that I have the power toinfect.” Milan kept his voice level but could not help narrowing his eyes on the last word.
Lord Raphael looked away in what Milan hoped was shame and not anger at being admonished. “You are right. I apologise. I should never have spoken to you that way, under any circumstances. I will make sure it does not happen again.”
“Please do.”
There was a moment of silence. “I am leaving today for business,” Lord Raphael said, surprising Milan.
“For how long?”
“Four days.”
Milan nodded. He did not think the bond would show signs of strain in that amount of time. He walked towards Raphael, ignoring his expression and stiff posture as Milan grasped his hand for a second before stepping back.
“Safe trip, then.”
Lord Raphael tilted his head.
Without anything else to say, Milan left Lord Raphael to his work.
**********
Milan took Lord Raphael’s departure as the perfect opportunity to find a routine that would ensure good mental and physical health. He made sure to go outside every day that was not drenched in rain, even if for just a brisk walk. He rode into town and then visited Katerina on the second day. He would spend hours studying from technical books or enjoying the vast collection of fiction in the library.
On the third day of Lord Raphael’s absence, the accountant, Mister Gale, arrived at the manor, not having been aware of Lord Raphael’s trip. It only solidified Milan’s suspicions that it had not been a planned journey, but a hasty retreat.
“Come in. would you like some tea?” Milan offered.
“Oh, no, I couldn’t possibly—I’ll wait for Lord Raphael’s return.”
“There’s no need, I would love to hear about what news you bring. I am also lord of the estate—surely you’re not suggesting I’m not fit to hear what you have to say?”
“Not at all, My Lord, I only meant—”
“Perfect, let’s go to the library, then. I’ll call for some tea.”
Milan listened with avid interest about the financial workings of the estate, happy not to have Lord Raphael glaring over his shoulder.
By the time Lord Raphael returned, Milan was sure he could have at least a content life without his husband’s company. Lord Raphael seemed tired but no worse for wear when he arrived, Milan greeting him at the door as was proper. Lord Raphael even managed a small smile and didn’t even flinch terribly when Milan grasped his hand.
