Page 40 of Rat Park
I’m going to miss you too, he thought but didn’t say. Such truths were too dangerous to admit.
**********
Despite knowing he would miss Flor, Dominic hadn’t realised exactly howmuchthat would affect him. The volunteer rides Cat couldn’t make were lonely and silent, and Dominic found himself turning the radio on loudly to fill the space. Dominic still went to dinner at the Romeros’ on Mondays but missed the dessert at the end of the meal. Most of all he missed baking with Flor, those calm hours together as he listened to Flor talk openly about his life, joking and sharing with him as if they were old friends who would never drift apart.
Life became a little more boring, and with it, the itch under Dominic’s skin increased. The loneliness Flor’s absence caused was a pull at the centre of him. He would lie in bed and feel it spread through his arteries with the furious pumping of blood, seeping into the air around him so it lay heavy on his prone body. It wasn’t even a conscious thought, the desire to get high, but a feared proposition his brain always had ready as a solution or escape.
Just one time, he would think, like his mother had said so long ago. But just like he had then, Dominic knew there was no ‘one time’ for an addict. One time was just the beginning of a fall that wouldn’t end until he hit the very bottom of the hole.
**********
Despite how busy Flor had to be, Dominic and he started texting regularly soon after he left. Part of Dominic didn’t want to reply, allowing him some space to enjoy his new life, but talking to Flor was one of the many things Dominic wasn’t capable of denying himself.
Flor
how many cups of coffee is too many in one day?
Dominic
I’m going to guess 3 less than what you’ve had.
Flor
i think i can hear colours
Dominic
Are you sure that was just coffee?
Flor
i feel god in this folgers tonight
Dominic
You’re not right.
Flor
have you seen the office?
Dominic
That a movie?
Flor
[Link]
watch it
***
Flor
have you watched the office?
Dominic
