Page 78 of All That Has Flown Beyond
“You’re one to talk.”
“I just woke up. I get a pass.”
“Of course,” Ahmik snorted.
Kaiyo wanted to press his fingers against Ahmik’s expression. Feel its round edges, its soft curves. Ahmik’s hair was dishevelled, the imprint of a pillow on his tan-coloured skin, face propped up slightly from the pillow by his gently curled fists tucked under his cheek and chin. He looked so young and open. Kaiyo had to close his eyes a moment from the onslaught of it all.
“Remember the first time Emil joined us for the puppy pile?” Ahmik asked, voice low as if they were sharing secrets.
“Yeah,” Kaiyo laughed. “He was so awkward with Thea. She was just eating it up.”
“She was probably relieved to have some distraction from all our canoodling.”
The memory was a bright, sharp stab. “Yeah,” Kaiyo agreed.
Ahmik had always been especially affectionate after a run. He used to love scenting him afterwards, rubbing his cheek and nose and lips over Kaiyo’s skin so they would smell of nothing but the forest, pack, each other.
“Or,” Kaiyo recalled, “oh my God, remember the time Thea got mad at her mom and tried putting nettle residue on her bed without even realizing she’d be sniffed out in a second? She didn’t even tell Thea off, she just—”
“Put the nettle in Thea’s bed.”
“And Thea couldn’t even say anything!”
“Her face…and that rash. It only stayed for a few hours but, still. Thea glared for days.”
They laughed, remembering Thea’s pouting face and the way she had scratched irritably at herself, snapping at anybody who commented.
The silence that settled between them was soft and malleable. They looked at each other in the cocoon of sheets and memories. Kaiyo could see the edges of Ahmik’s eyes turn a little serious, but he didn’t have it in him to worry.
“Thea and I talked,” Ahmik shared. Kaiyo just looked at him, knowing there was more. “We…we’ve been pretty at odds. Ever since…you know.”
“I left,” Kaiyo euphemized for him. Ahmik nodded.
“I don’t think we even realized you were the glue keeping us together. Thea and I…we’re both so hot-headed in our own ways and you were, you kept us straight, you know? And, just…”
Kaiyo closed his eyes. He wasn’t sure he wanted to hear this. It was a bittersweet delicacy, knowing they hadn’t forgotten him the moment he was exiled. That they had suffered too.
“I think it’s time for all of us to decide to move on, Ahmik. To just…grow from it, instead of letting ourselves be consumed.”
In the close intimacy of the moment—in the sleepy warmth and the sound of the pack in the kitchen, and the sudden feeling of home—Kaiyo blinked slow eyes as he looked at Ahmik and felt something settle.
Ahmik shifted an inch closer. They weren’t touching, but almost.
**********
Just as he had been roped into the Yule run, Kaiyo found himself amidst the preparations for Yule, although the celebration had melded with Christmas due to overexposure to the Christian holiday.
Keeping with Yule traditions, the pack house was decorated with mistletoe and holly, as well as pine in the form of a Christmas tree. By the level of Isla’s excitement, Kaiyo could tell the enthusiastic takeover of the pack house during the holidays was not a normal occurrence.
“Ahmik. Oh my God. I thought werewolves were supposed to have good eyesight!” Kaiyo laughed.
“What? What’s wrong with it?” Ahmik said, looking at the row of holly he had tacked onto a banister.
“It’s wonky as hell.”
“No, it isn’t!”
“Are you actually blind? Come here,” Kaiyo said, grabbing him by his sweater and forcing him to take a few steps away. “See?”
