Page 66 of All That Has Flown Beyond
Kaiyo closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, he couldn’t be anybody else but himself.
**********
That night, Kaiyo took a walk in the forest. He breathed in the night air. He set his demons loose in the moonlight instead of keeping them to claw at his insides.
Sometimes, life still seemed like an endless series of steps. An exhausting line with an aborted ending. Sometimes, he wanted to sleep through it and not have to contend with being alive.
So, Kaiyo took a walk. He walked through the trees and the sounds of the creatures of the dark. Their calls were a soft music filled with silence.
He let his consciousness stretch beyond him. He was the swooping owl. An old oak. A simple shadow.
He was part of the world. No more. No less. The endless steps were just in his imagination.
In reality, what he could demand of himself was just to be.
AUTUMN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Even when the struck match of summer lost its heat, the colour of its flame remained. The forest was easily inspired, shaking itself into auburn as autumn arrived with a gust of wind.
“I can’t do this!”
“Isla—”
“I can’t do it. I’m too stupid, I can’t do it!”
Kaiyo and Isla were sitting at the edge of the long table that made the spine of the conservatory, leaning over a large scrapbook Kaiyo had made, its pages filled with pressed flowers and herbs.
Isla pushed the book away, crossing her arms over her chest and slouching on the stool. Kaiyo had been testing her on the names, properties, and dangers of the flora commonly used in rituals and poultices. Isla had begun with confidence, but each incorrect answer had chipped away at her, leaving small dents of frustration in her expression until its whole structure gave way.
Kaiyo looked at Isla calmly. The trees outside were starting to blush red, and the light filtering through was warm and thin, the sun having almost reached its resting point on the horizon.
“Isla. I understand your frustration, but let me tell you a secret. Some things in life are difficult. I know you’ve probably heard that before, but what that really means is that when you encounter something that’s difficult, this is not a reflection on you. Of your capacity or worth. It is a natural quality of life. Some hills are steep. Some rivers are filled with rapid water. Some deserts are so long and arid it’s like they’re never going to stop.
“Some people may be better at crossing rivers, others at climbing hills, but there is not one person on this earth talented at everything. You cannot control, in the moment, if the new landscape you encounter is difficult for you. If you never encountered difficult terrain, then you have either left your humanity behind, or you are not challenging yourself in life.
“So. We’ve encountered a piece of difficult terrain. Good. That’s not a reflection of you but of the fact that we are being adventurous. That we are discovering new land. Should we explore it or turn around?” Kaiyo asked. Isla didn’t uncurl from her position, kicking her feet through the air.
“Explore it,” she muttered. Kaiyo smiled.
“Okay. Now, maybe the equipment we’ve been using isn’t suited for this new terrain. Let’s try something else.”
Isla watched Kaiyo as he drew a circle on the floor between the end of the table and the plush seating clustered around the far, brick wall of the conservatory. Kaiyo tapped his bottom lip for a moment before drawing runes on the floor.
“This one here,” he explained, drawing the first one, “is for the senses. We have a lot of senses, more than those advertised, so we need to be a little specific. Here, an oval for sight. Here, two small triangles with kissing beaks for scent. Here, in the middle, a rune for living dreams. This helps the activation of each of the associated sensory cortexes in your brain without external stimuli, which is what happens in dreams and hallucinations.”
“You’re gonna make me hallucinate?” Isla asked sceptically, but she had perked up at Kaiyo’s explanation.
“In a way, yes. Here, hop inside,” Kaiyo said, stepping outside of the circle.
Isla did so without hesitation. Kaiyo sat down on his stool again, facing her.
“All right. Stand where the sensory rune is, at the top of the…good. Now, look straight ahead, over where the middle rune is. There you go. I’m going to influence your Ousía. Okay?”
“Uh, okay?”
“And…there.”
