Page 2 of All That Has Flown Beyond
Thea didn’t reply.
“That much, huh?”
Thea shook her head. She looked at him steadily. The hopeless heaviness in her face disconcerted him.
“Are you ever going to take this seriously?” she said quietly.
“I do. I do, Thea. I would do anything for you guys! How much more—”
“I meant your safety, Kaiyo. Are you ever going to…is that ever going to…” They let the silence hang thick between them for a moment.
The oval slit of Kaiyo’s eyes shut. He could almost see himself from above, a pale figure on a pale bed, the black of his hair a hole in the sheets. His face, his long fingers, his knobbly knees. He was all sharp angles, the paper of him folded and refolded into shapes that had left creases behind, rips and marks that were slow to cure.
“I should be pack shaman. I should be…I should have manifested, it’s my responsibility—”
“Not like this. There’s a reason shamans train for years, Kaiyo. This is…”
Thea sat back in her chair. Her round, pillowy curves seemed to be compressed together, shrinking away from him.
The silence stretched like distance between them. Kaiyo’s prone body didn’t know how to breach it.
“Don’t you think we’ve lost enough?” Thea said quietly.
Kaiyo looked at the ceiling. That was exactly why he’d put himself in danger’s way in the first place.
He couldn’t lose any more.
**********
There was no memory of when Kaiyo learnt about Ousía. It was like knowing about air, about self. You know without knowing.
When Ousía had been put into words, it was described as the essence of him. Tied, equal, but apart from his physical body. It was half of what made something what it was. Every physical form had its own Ousía, as immense and unique and fragile as its material form.
Most creatures and objects in the universe, it was explained to him, had a passive Ousía. It existed in the realm of Ousía, but it had no ability to interact or perceive other Ousía consciously. It existed, and that was enough.
You,he was told, have a conductive Ousía. Like witches, your Ousía will be able to interact with that beyond yourself when you manifest. To influence it, shape it, bind it. It is a responsibility not to be taken lightly.
But you are not a witch. You are a shaman. Like seers, you also have a receptive Ousía. You can sense the Ousía of others to a more delicate degree. You can find and perceive, gathering knowledge from that around you to a deeper extent than witches and, of course, passives.
This combination,he was told, makes you a shaman. Or, it will, when you manifest.
When,he had been told. When.
But Kaiyo was still waiting, watching thewhencurdle into anif.
**********
The Garrow pack had been tied to their land for generations. Ahmik’s mother, Taima Garrow, had come from a long line of Native American werewolves. Ahmik’s father had been from a Chilean pack and had fallen in love with Taima when he was just twenty-one, on a visit to Garrow land. Taima hadn’t been Kephale then, but it had been obvious she was destined to lead.
Most humans were ignorant of the existence of Ousía and all that came with it—referred to as “Blinkered” by those in the know. To those within that world, however, the Garrow pack was known not only for its small, solid Garrow line but its ancient ties with the Amanati. Having moved from Japan to America long before the second world war, protected by the pack in its aftermath, the Amanatis had the rare quality of having a shaman in almost every generation, each pledging themselves to the Garrow pack in turn. Kaiyo Amanati was a descendant of this line. Despite already being eighteen, he was still waiting for his Ousía to manifest into one that would be able to be trained in the shamanic ways.
The combination of Garrows and Amanatis had made what seemed to be a formidable but peaceful pack. But greed was blind. Kaiyo had been fourteen, Ahmik fifteen, when a pack had taken advantage of the Garrows’ welcoming nature to decimate them from the inside.
All that had been left was Ahmik, Kaiyo, and Thea. Ahmik had been ritualized by a neighbouring shaman into position of Kephale. Kaiyo had only been able to watch.
Perhaps it was ironic that the attacking pack received nothing but death for their attempt. Even if most of the Garrows had perished, they had not gone down quietly. Garrow allies had taken care of the rest and had helped protect the remaining three members from any further attacks. In the end, it had been a senseless slaughtering of life. Kaiyo was left with the straggling remains of his pack and his mother, Adeline, who was not part of the pack. She had a passive Ousía and had divorced Kaiyo’s dad shortly after Kaiyo’s birth.
The help from the neighbouring packs had slowly faded with time. The three teenagers had trudged through grief to keep the pack alive. Every day seemed to bring new trouble, and every day Kaiyo’s guilt got a little heavier. He should have manifested by now. He should be helping his pack.
