Page 21 of All That Has Flown Beyond
Kaiyo’s sheets smelt of sweat and unwashed skin. He would drag himself to the kitchen once a day until all the food had run out. When the pain in his stomach became too much, he convinced his somnambulantbody to face the endless outside.
Each person passing him on the street was an alien threat. Kaiyo followed his mnemonic feet. He stepped through the sliding door of the grocery and was instantly assaulted.
Light, sound, people, people, people. The blurred colours of endless objects stacked up to the ceiling. The smells, flowers and wet umbrellas and meat.
Kaiyo stumbled out. His heart was in his throat. He was choking on blood.
He ran back home. Ran wildly, knocking into people, a blind and wounded horse. He couldn’t get his key in the lock, hands trembling.
“Jesus. Jesus,” he panted. There were tears in his eyes, and he didn’t even know why.
The key slid in. He shook it madly until the door swung open against his weight. It slammed shut. He slid to the ground. He buried his face in his hands, gasping for breath.
There was something wrong with him. He couldn’t breathe; there was something wrong with him.
There was something wrong with him.
***
He slept. There, on the floor, like an animal. Hunger chewed on his gut until he managed to propel himself to his laptop.
He’d never ordered groceries online. His cheeks were wet with desperation as he tried to find the right website, create a username, a password. He had to remember his name, his address, had to find his card to input the number.
He clicked at groceries blindly. There were too many options. Too many brands. Every choice was beyond him.
He chose a delivery time. He couldn’t breathe as the screen informed him that something had gone wrong. He corrected his address. The order went through.
He almost started crying again.
His uselessness was like bile in his throat.
***
The groceries arrived the next day. He could barely see, he was so hungry.
“Hey, man, you okay?” the delivery man said.
“Yeah. Hungover,” Kaiyo lied. The man had nodded. Kaiyo had breathed deeply in relief when he left.
Kaiyo ripped into the grocery boxes. There was a complete disarray of mismatched items inside. He had bought a pile of frozen food. He left it on the kitchen table to melt.
He ate on the floor. Nothing tasted of anything. It filled him up until his stomach hurt.
He crawled back to bed.
Drip. Drip. Drip, went the kitchen table.
He closed his eyes.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
The noise was intolerable. It was inside his head. It was driving him crazy.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
His pathetic eyes were leaking again. Snot clogged his nose. The noise was so far away. He couldn’t get out of his bed.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
