Page 83 of All That Has Flown Beyond
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Kaiyo’s sessions with Isla progressed smoothly. Each day he would ask after Isla’s gender, and they would reply. Mostly, she chose female, although sometimes he would pick male. Kaiyo went along with it without question.
It was late January when Isla entered the conservatory without the energy she had started displaying.
“Everything okay?” Kaiyo asked, stopping what he was doing to give her his full attention.
Isla shrugged, not looking at him.
“Do you know what pronouns you are today?” Kaiyo asked after letting the silence be for a while.
Isla stayed silent for a moment before she seemed to steel herself. “I want you to tell Mom and Dad.”
Kaiyo didn’t have to ask what she was referring to. “Okay. Do you want to be there with me?”
“No. I mean…can I stay in my room? Can you tell them and I’ll go down, I just…I don’t want…”
“Isla, it’s okay. You don’t have to explain to me how you choose to share this part of yourself. I’ll help in any way I can.”
Isla nodded, hunched over herself, but her eyes flickered to Kaiyo’s gratefully. Kaiyo pulled her into a hug, and she wrapped her arms around him at once.
Not wanting her to stew in worry, he asked to speak with Thea and Emil at their house that very night.
“Everything okay?” Emil asked as they sat together in the living room, Edu already in his crib, a baby monitor on the coffee table between them.
“Yes. I just have some news to share,” Kaiyo said. He’d been going through this conversation in his mind all day, but it was still difficult to begin. He wanted to do right by Isla.
“Oh. About Isla’s training?” Thea asked.
“No. Although, it is about Isla,” Kaiyo replied.
“Okay…” Thea said, sounding a little more worried.
“Because we spend so much time together, Isla and I have gotten to talking, and she shared something with me she’s asked me to tell you.”
Kaiyo paused slightly as Thea and Emil frowned, waiting. Kaiyo didn’t drag it out.
“Isla identifies as gender non-binary. I don’t know if you know much about this topic, but, basically, gender is not a binary. As in, it’s not divided into two categories, female and male. It’s a spectrum, and people can fall anywhere within the spectrum. Someone who is non-binary feels they fall far away from both extremes of the spectrum, meaning they don’t fall strictly in either male or female. Because we don’t have words to describe more genders, these people express that they are simply non-binary. Sometimes their gender identity can change between days or weeks or whatever, and so they use the term gender fluid. Right now, I think this is probably the most accurate term for Isla,” Kaiyo said.
Thea and Emil stared at Kaiyo, looking stunned.
“Gender fluid?” Emil asked.
“Yes.”
“I mean…the kid’s a tomboy. It’s just part of who she is, or a phase—”
“Stop there,” Kaiyo said immediately, a protective burst of irritation flaring up. Emil shut his mouth, surprised. “I know you’re her parents. I know you are used to—and rightfully so—looking after her by making decisions that will help her. She’s ten. I get that. But in this, your interpretation of the situation simply does not matter. This isn’t even about what is or isn’t, what you believe or not. This is about Isla’s ability to learn about and express her own identity,” Kaiyo said firmly.
“I didn’t mean…I was just—” Emil started, but Kaiyo shook his head, stopping him again.
“I know. But you have to understand that which gender Isla is, where she, or he, falls on the spectrum, is actually beside the point. It matters to Isla, but not to us. Because what matters now, like I said, what we have to safeguard above all else, is Isla feeling like they are in control of their own identity and how they express this. That is the middle, beginning, and end of it.
“If she says one day she identifies as female, then use female pronouns. If he identifies as male, use male pronouns. Is that confusing? It doesn’t matter. Your opinion doesn’t matter, because your opinion should never infringe on someone’s right to their own identity.
“Right now, Isla is in an incredibly vulnerable position. The whole world has been constructed around them to tell them that what they are feeling is not real. If Isla hears ‘it’s just a phase’, they will never forget it. Even if you take it back a million times. Because that phrase is backed up by the rest of the world. I’m sorry if I’m being blunt, but—”
“No,” Thea interrupted him, reaching out to grab his hand. “She…” Thea covered her mouth for a moment with her free hand, looking away. “She—I mean, they?”
