Page 63 of In This Iron Ground
They had decided to go to the fair held by a nearby town at the start of every summer. Damien had been excited. The fair had first started after his parents died, so he’d never been. He was glad, in a way. He didn’t want the experience affected by memories from his past.
They bought their tickets and then had them punched at the entrance. Inside, the fair was all bright, flashing colours, the sweet smell of candy floss and waffles, the noise of the rides and stands. Damien looked around with wide eyes, feeling twelve instead of seventeen. When he turned to look at Gonzalo again, he was looking back at Damien with a smile.
“You like it?”
“Yeah!”
Gonzalo laughed, squeezing him as they ventured deeper inside.
Koko and Olive, being the adrenaline-junkies they were, dragged them straight to the biggest of the rides. They chatted or played games as they waited in line. Damien almost liked those bits the best.
“Okay. Fuck, Marry, Kill animated, animal Disney characters,” Koko said, cackling.
“You are sick in the head,” Gonzalo complained.
“Oi. There is no judgment in Fuck, Marry, Kill.”
“There is a lot of judgment in Fuck, Marry, Kill. Actually, that’s like ninety percent of the game.”
“Whatever. You gonna fess up, or what?”
Gonzalo put on a contemplative face, humming. “Let’s see…well, I’d obviously fuck Bambi,” he started, but was interrupted by the rest of them groaning.
“Ew! Gonzalo!” Damien moaned.
“And you callmesick!” Koko said, faking a retch.
“Excuse me. I thought there wasn’t any judgment in this game?”
“Sorry, buddy,” Olive said. “You’re going straight to jail.”
“Well, it was nice knowing you all. Damien, don’t visit me in prison. I don’t want the other inmates to get any ideas.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Damien exclaimed. The two girls cackled. “No, seriously, what the—”
“Oh, my sweet, summer child. My sweet, twinky, summer child,” Koko cooed, slinging her arm around him.
Damien gaped. “What?”
“Babe. Boo-boo. Fragrant cherry blossom of the night. You are a top’s wet dream. Like…the eyes. The freckles. Your fluffy hair. Like, seriously.”
Damien’s mouth hung open. “How do…I don’t…I mean…” He started blushing.
Koko smirked at him, but then her expression turned serious. “Shit. Did you not want people to know that you like guys?”
“How doyouknow?”
“Um…’cause it’s super, ultra-obvious?” Koko said.
Damien blinked slowly.
In the grand landscape of his life, the fact that he was gay had been dwarfed by the colossus of his other worries. The very fact that Hakan was his first crush alone was enough to distract him away from sexuality-related worry. That, combined with the fact they lived in a liberal town and there were many pack members who were openly in same-sex relationships, including Nova, had meant him being gay didn’t really blip his radar of insecurities.
“Okay…well…it’s fine I guess. Just out me to the world,” Damien said finally.
“Shit. Damien, I’m—”
“It’s fine. I didn’t think to tell anybody ’cause…I mean, it’s just a weird conversation. Like, who goes around telling everybody what kind of people they’re attracted to? It’s weird. I don’t get why I’d have to do it. So…I’m glad it’s obvious. But. Like. How is it obvious, exactly?”
