Page 109 of In This Iron Ground
“Thanks,” he said as Mia passed him some tea.
He was at Hakan’s. He wasn’t entirely sure how he’d gotten there. Mia opened her mouth to speak, but Damien interrupted her, setting the tea on the coffee table clumsily.
“I know Hakan must have, you know, told you what he said but you don’t have to…I know that I’m not pack. I researched—just for curiosity’s sake—how a human joins a pack and I know there’s a ritual and stuff. So. You don’t have to worry. I—”
“Damien.” Damien fell quiet immediately.
Mia was looking at him with an expression he had never seen before. Like the sorrow of an old loss being reawakened, or…Damien couldn’t place it.
Mia covered his hand in hers. He twitched in surprise but didn’t pull away.
“I have done you a terrible wrong,” Mia said quietly. “It is only because I know your nature that I know you will forgive me, but I don’t deserve it. I have failed as a Kephale, and as your…as your carer as well.”
Damien shook his head, gobsmacked. “Mia—”
“Let me, please.” Mia squeezed his hands gently. He fell silent. “Damien. You are, without a doubt, one of the strongest people I have ever met. I did not know, back when we first met, what I was sensing. But I do now. Your Ousía may not be receptive or conductive, but it is one of the brightest and most resilient I have ever met.
“It has been a privilege to watch you grow and bloom. It has been a privilege to be even one small part of it. It has been a privilege to know you, Damien, and it would be a privilege to have you as an official member of my pack.”
Damien started shaking his head again. He couldn’t listen to this. But he didn’t pull away.
“I have been a fool. I thought that, as a human, you would understand the ties of family better than of pack. Thatshowingyou would be enough. That you wouldn’t need it to be ritualized as someone who has been born to this world would. In retrospect, it is one of the most foolish things I have ever assumed.”
“No. Mia, I don’t, I don’t need—”
“We all need it. Damien, we all need to be shown with certainty where we belong. We all need to see commitment and not just suggestion. It was not logic that lead me to my actions. It was fear.”
Damien shook his head slowly. He’d never known her to be swayed by fear.
“It’s a fear both my son and I are guilty of. Of putting you in a situation that would rob you of your autonomy. I feared…after your understandable reaction to our invitation to be fostered, after you expressed your feelings of being indebted to the pack, I…I made a foolish, foolish mistake, Damien. In trying to give you a choice, I chose for you. Not only that, I made the wrong choice.” Mia stared imploringly at Damien.
He didn’t move a muscle, caught in that stare. The world was swimming around him.
“Damien. I hope you can forgive me. All I can do now is rectify my wrong and say, Damien Henson. Under the blessing of the full moon, I wish to invite you to be part of the Salgado pack. To run with us. To grow with us. To give as you will receive. The earth welcomes you, Damien Henson, and so do we.”
Damien tried to process the words. One by one by one they spread through loose soil. But it was too much. The earth was becoming waterlogged. It couldn’t take anymore.
This wasn’t a simple reversal of facts. This was a challenge to a core belief Damien had felt like a stone in his gut for years.
You are not worthy to be part of a family.
You are not worthy to be part of the Salgado pack.
You are not worthy.
“I…I don’t…” Damien choked on the words. Mia’s thumb rubbed gently across the skin of his hand.
“I understand, Damien. You don’t have to answer now. Know that the offer will stand forever. Forever. If you ever wish to join the pack, you will be welcomed.”
Damien felt his eyes burn. The world was turning on its head.
He’d been alone. Alone, alone, alone. He’d look at the stars and think to the universe,you are infinite. And I am alone.
Mia pulled him towards her and he went gladly. He felt her arms around him. The arms of a mother. A Kephale. Family. Pack.
“My boy…I am so proud of you. I am so, so proud of you.”
A sob ripped through him.
