Page 28 of Nights Without Night
“He—Isadoro—came back from Iraq a few months ago,” I say. The officer stills, and then her whole expression changes.
“I see,” she says.
They don’t arrest him, putting it under the umbrella of “self-defence” and “work-appropriate force.”
Jesus, I think.This is what it’s like to be part of the law enforcement family.
Fever Eyes is going to be fine, they tell me again. Head wounds bleed a lot. I nod.
The police leave. The paramedics have taken Fever Eyes away for observation. The crowd disperses.
Isadoro gets fired on the spot. The manager catches my eyes but doesn’t say anything to me. I look away.
The shaking of my hands has subsided as I drive us home. I don’t even put the radio on. Everything is silence.
When we reach the apartment, Isadoro heads straight for his room.
“Don’t you fucking dare go into your room right now,” I say quietly. Isadoro stops but doesn’t turn back. I sit on the couch, face in my hands for a moment. Isadoro just stands there, between his cave and me.
“You need to get some help,” I say into the silence. The words have a strange ring to them, the odd aftermath of a struck bell.
“I don’t…” He trails off. I turn my head to look at the cross of his shoulders and back.
“Are you really going to say you don’t need help after tonight?” I say. His hands clench at his sides. “Isadoro, this isn’t an accusation! For God’s sake, everybody needs help sometimes! And you spent eight tours out there! Anybody would need a little help!”
“Not me,” he clenches out.
“Isa, please-”
“I’m allowed to be angry!” he says, finally turning to face me.
“I know that. I know that. Anybody can be angry. You can be angry. What youcan’tdo is crack a guy’s head open on a wall!”
“He was all over you,” he growls. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out for a second.
“If this is because we’re sleeping together-”
“It has nothing to do with that! He was making you uncomfortable, hegrabbedyou,” he says like it’s the worst sin.
“Yes. He was making me uncomfortable. He grabbed me. But you know what? It’s part of the job. No, let me finish. I know it shouldn’tbepart of the job, but it is. There is protocol on how to deal with it, and I had the situation more than handled. I wasn’t in danger. You didn’t protect me from anything. You aren’t my personal bodyguard, Isa. You can’t go around beating people up because they grab me, especially in a situation that was so under control. I don’t care how you feel about it, if you’re angry or not—I was angry too! But you can’t, you can’t…” I run my hands through my hair. “You can’t do that. What if you’d really hurt that guy? You could have gone to jail and then…” I press the heels of my hands to my eyes.
My breath is stuttered as I try to calm down. I hear Isadoro walk towards me, the dip of the couch as he sits next to me.
“I’m sorry,” he says, but I know they’re just words. Not because he doesn’t mean them, but because nothing is going to change.
I lower my hands and look at him. My eyes are wet, and it distorts Isadoro for a moment. I reach out and grasp his hand.
“Please, just…go to the V.A. I can go with you, or drive you and wait in the car, or just drive-”
“Stop,” he says. I stop. “I don’t need all that. This was one incident, okay?”
“How many more-”
“There won’t be more. It won’t happen again,” he says, looking away.
I close my eyes. His hand is still and limp in mine.
I don’t let go.
