Page 42 of Sicken of the Calm
“Very cool,” I answer with a huffof laughter.
“Ooh,verycool. Highpraise from a harsh critic,” He teases. I bite his lip as he laughs. After amoment, he pulls away.
“I’m going to get something toclean us up,” he says, and I nod with a hum. When he comes back, he cleans mychest first, and then between my legs. I squirm a little at the latter, but hedoesn’t linger, tossing the wet and dry paper towels in the trash beforegrabbing a bag of M&Ms from the floor and collapsing on the bed, half ontop, half beside me. I wind my arms around him, holding him close as he kissesmy ear before we settle, half turned to look at each other.
“You good?” he asks, moreseriously this time, and I nod. I get his need for reassurance is born of thisbeing my “first time”, but the verdict should be obvious. I know the questionis more for him than me though, so I let it drop.
“M&M?” he asks, ripping thebag open between us. I laugh.
“Is this like the PG version of apost-coital cigarette?” I tease, accepting one.
“Damn, I should have bought oneof those chocolate cigarettes! Do they even still sell those?”
“Pretty sure those were banned tohell and back. Can you imagine the backlash? Yeah, no.”
“I bet we could buy them onAmazon. Fulfil a childhood dream.”
“Your childhood dream was to eata post-coital chocolate cigarette?” I say incredulously. He laughs.
“Ok, maybe that wasn’t theexactdream, but we all go through the cigarettes-are-cool phase.”
“Speak for yourself.”
“Ok, Mr. Perfect. I was warped bythe movies, ok! I remembering watchingSuddenly, Last Summer, andthere’s this scene where the girl, she’s like in a mental asylum or something Ithink – don’t look at me like that, that’s what they called it back in the day- and she bums a cigarette from like…a doctor or something? Or a lawyer…I don’tknow. Anyway, she’s, like, leaning against a bookcase I think, talking to theguy, and takes a drag of her illicit cigarette and then blows the smoke out ofher nose and I just thought it was so fucking sexy. I’d never seen that before,a woman in a movie blowing smoke out of their nose. Like, it’s not particularlyfeminine, right? I don’t know. I had the biggest crush on Elizabeth Taylorafter that,” he says, eyes a little lost in memory.
“Was that your first crush?” Iask.
“Not really. My first crush, ifyou can call it that, was the girl from that old-schoolGot Milk?ad,the one in the red thong, I don’t know if you’ve seen it. So fucking cliché. Iwas at a friend’s house for a sleepover and the poster was hanging in myfriend’s brother’s room. It, like, jolted me online or something. I was eight!I didn’t even know what I was looking at, but it did something to me,” helaughs.
“Did something to you,” I repeat,laughing with him.
“Dude, that picture is raunchy.It was made for pervy little boys like me.”
“Glad to see nothing’s changed,then,” I tease, and he bites my shoulder lightly, making me laugh again.
“What about you? Who was yourfirst crush?”
“Oh God. It was truly awful. Itwas the main character in a Telenovela my mom used to watch,Rubí. Itwas horrible because I would get a boner with my familyright there-”
“Oh my God.” Ezra starts shakingwith laughter, burying his face in my neck.
“I was traumatized. Fuckingtraumatized. To this day, the opening songs of Telenovelas send a shiver downmy spine,” I shudder.
“Poor baby,” he teases. “Whatabout your first crush on a guy?” he asks, and I can’t help but tense. I musthave looked at guys before, but the first guy I really took notice of is in thebed with me, and there’s no way to admit it without ruining the “casualrelationship” agreement between us. The mere reminder of how temporary this isputs a damper on the warm feeling that had been growing inside me. I shrug.
“I can’t remember,” I mumble.“You?” I can feel Ezra looking at me curiously, and almost sigh in relief whenhe doesn’t press. He must know by my demeanour that I’m lying. I just hope hedoesn’t know why.
“David Bowie in Labyrinth. I’mall about the oldies,” he says, and I can’t help but smile because the choiceis so him.
“Who could resist that hair?” Itease, making him snort.
“Oh yeah. And those eyebrows! Iguess I have a thing for them,” he says, and licks one of mine, making me joltback.
“Ew!” I cry, and he collapsesover me, laughing.
“Couldn’t resist,” he chuckles.
“Try harder,” I grumble, wipingat my face, but I’m smiling with him. “Is that when you realized you likedguys?” I ask him when we’ve settled down again.
