Page 30 of Sicken of the Calm
“Don’t move,” he says. He removesone of his hands from my sweaty skin and the feel of it wrapping around mydick, tight and perfect and wet from his mouth, has me tensing all my musclesas I try to follow the order. He starts jerking me off with that tight grip,mouth still sucking pitilessly on my tip.
I want to touch him, his hair andhis neck and his skin, but I can’t. In this moment, my body is his, an emberglowing ever hotter in this dark pit.
When I prove myself able tofollow the stilling order, his other hand disappears from my hip. Ezra’s mouthleaves me too, but I barely have a moment to protest before two of his fingersare pushing into my mouth, pressing against my tongue, and I’m sucking at themdesperately. He doesn’t linger, moving back down. His mouth is back on me thesecond before one of his fingers is between my legs, rubbing at the rim of myhole. I remember in the last second not to jerk my hips, trembling with theeffort, and then his finger is inside me. I can feel the push, the slide, andthe groan it gets out of me is unholy. His hands and mouth set a synchronizedpace, and it’s too much. Lips sucking on my dick, the tongue against theunderside, the hand jerking me off, the finger in and out and in again. Mymouth is open and panting, body straining with the effort of keeping still, andthat invisible bondage is almost as pleasurable as the pleasure itself.
I’m burning from the inside out.
“I’m, Ezra I’m-” I try to warn him,because he hasn’t given me permission and I don’t know if I need it.
“Yeah,” Ezra says before the handon my cock removes itself, replaced instantaneously by his mouth as he goesdown, down, and deepthroats me. I cry out and he swallows around me at theexact moment he adds another finger, forcing two into my hole and I’m gone. Thejolt of pleasure and discomfort pushes me over the edge and the orgasm thattakes me is a sweeping wave of white, curling my toes, arching my back. I openmy mouth in a silent cry, the sensation so big it gets caught in my throat.
Ezra keeps sucking and hisfingers thrusting into me until I’m a shaking mess. I fall limp on the bed,trying to catch my breath, my bearings. If I could think, I would expect Ezrato watch over me as he waits for my consciousness to return. Instead, he barelygives me half a moment to recover before his mouth is on mine, tasting of me.The kiss isn’t post-coital sweet, as sharp and taking as it has been all night.
“Get on your knees,” he saysagainst my cheek. I have to blink a few times, trying to catch up to what’shappening, but Ezra isn’t in a patient mood.
“Knees,” he repeats, and the toneof his voice has my uncoordinated limbs sliding to the floor beside the bed. Myknees hit the floor hard as I topple over, having to catch myself on my hands,and I’m suddenly being yanked up by my hair to a straight-kneeling position. Igasp, eyes wide and mind reeling. My heart is racing again, my senses, syrupyfrom my orgasm, are sharpening at the sudden turn of events. The lack of lightis adding to the confusion, but as I focus, I realize I’m face-to-crotch withthe bulge in Ezra’s tight black trousers.
My orgasm has robbed me of allinhibitions and I moan, pulling against the hand in my hair to press my openmouth against him, tongue pushing at the rough fabric of his jeans.
“Jesus,” I hear him say above meand leaves me nuzzling at him desperately for a moment before yanking back.
“Why don’t you unwrap me, if youwant what’s inside so bad?” he says, and I don’t even have the capacity to feelembarrassed. My hands fumble with his button and zipper, yanking his jeans andboxers down. His dick springs free, and I realize I haven’t even touched himbefore. I try to get my mouth on him, suddenly desperate to taste him, to makehim feel like I feel. But the hand in my hair stops me.
“All the way off,” he says, andit takes me a moment to catch up. I push his jeans and underwear off until hecan step out of them. When I’m done I look up at him, and it’s all shadow but Ican see the glint of his eyes, the wetness of his lips. Out of that darkness,his voice says, “Put your hands on my thighs or my hips. You want me to stop,tap twice. Unless you do, the pace is mine. Colour?”
For a moment, I have no idea whatthe last bit means before I’m babbling, “Green, green,” and then he’s pushinginto my mouth. I can’t help but moan at the salty-skin taste, at the bitternessof the precum, the smell of him, heightened by the dark. He’s hot and thick in mymouth and I feel the ridge of the head, the indentations of his veins, as heslides slowly in. I’m panting through my nose as he slides out, and then inagain, a little further this time. I try to make it good, rubbing my tongue onthe underside, sucking on the tip as he slips out, but, as he warned, the paceis his. In and out and in, each time a little further in that same tortuouslyslow pace. He’s not as thick as me, but he’s longer, and suddenly he’s hittingthe back of my throat. It’s not too bad at the start, but each time he goes furtheruntil I choke. My hands grip at him in fear that he’ll pull away, but I needn’thave bothered. He makes a sound of pleasure at my struggle, pushing in deeper.
“Relax your throat, like you’re takinga gulp of water. It’s going to slide right in,” his voice says, and I try to doas he tells me. I breathe deeply, but his dick chokes and gags me, and his handgrips my hair harder. He likes it, and I like that he likes it, but I want tobe better.
He slips out. I take a deepbreath, imagine my throat opening, relaxing my shoulders, my neck, my jaw, andwhen he next pushes in his slides right in. There’s a moment of victory as Ifeel him in my throat, but when I try to breathe and find I can’t, I start topanic a little. My throat constricts around Ezra’s cock and that only makes thepanic swell. I’m about to tap out when he pulls out, all the way out, lettingme choke and gasp.
My hands are still clutching athis hips – I don’t want him to go far. The hand in my hair has gentled,stroking my scalp.
“Sorry,” I choke. He shushes me.
“Don’t – it’s normal. Try to remember;you can’t breathe when there’s something in your throat, not even through yournose,” he says, voice a little out of breath. I nod and swallow, aware,suddenly, of the absence of weight and heat and obstruction in my mouth andthroat, and missing it.
I straighten up a little, placingmy open mouth in line with Ezra’s dick. I stop there, waiting for his move, orhis order, and I’m rewarded by his hand tightening in my hair.
“God, you’re perfect,” he saysand uses his other hand to feed me his cock. I realize he’d been going easy onme before as he thrusts right in, almost hitting my throat. The pace is steadyand suddenly brutal, not slowing even when I choke. Spit and precum drip frommy swollen lips and down my chin, my jaw aching, my breath frantic through mynose. Jesus, I’d been sated and limp on my bed just minutes before, hazy frommy orgasm, but now I’m just the wet, hot hole that Ezra has chosen to be in.
He slows down a little, and Iknow what’s coming. I try to relax, but it still takes a few tries until he canget in my throat. This time, I don’t panic, concentrating on trying to swallowaround him, and he moans above me. My nose is pressed against his pubic hair ashe rocks into me and I groan deep in my chest.
I’m dizzy with lust and the lackof oxygen. Everything around me is going hazy, far away, underwater. It’s me,and it’s Ezra, but we’re the same thing. I can feel him in my hands and mymouth and my throat; I can’t breathe but it doesn’t matter because above me,inside me, he’s breathing for me.
I’m drifting and weightless andmy chest is collapsing, I’m folding in –
Ezra pulls out and I gasp the airin, a sudden rush, but he’s still fucking my mouth and it’s like being hit bywave after wave until you just let yourself go under. I can feel that I’mhalf-hard, but it’s inconsequential. I’m not my body. I’m something else.
“God, you’re so good. You’re soperfect,” Ezra is saying, and I’m making a noise like it’s too much and notenough. His dick plunges in again, choking the air out of my throat, his handtight on my hair, pulling me closer. I groan and clutch at him as I feel himcome down my throat. I can’t taste him, he’s in so deep, but I feel the warmthand I close my eyes and ride it out.
When he finally pulls out, I’mgasping again. Long, rattling breaths as I press my face against Ezra’strembling thigh.
“Joaquin.” The word is a sigh,and I somehow know that he’s not calling me, but savouring my name.
For a moment, everything isstill. It’s our panting breaths. It’s me on my knees with his hand in my hair,pressed against his thigh, my name said in his voice still leaving a ringingtrace behind.
The world tilts and moves aroundme suddenly until my back hits the bed. Ezra must have removed his shirtbecause he’s all warm skin pressed against me, half on top of me as he kissesmy sore lips. I moan as I feel his hand around my dick. I don’t know how mybody can be hard right now, when my soul is a liquid streaming through me. Theheat his hand on me causes is unburning. It glows quietly until I tip intoorgasm without ceremony, a slow and languid wave that loosens me up until I’m apuddle on the bed. The music, the dancing, Ezra’s eyes in the dark, his handsand mouth and his fingers inside me, the orgasms and his cock merciless insidemy throat, it has all undone me.
