Page 16 of Sicken of the Calm
Aisha beams at me as I startdancing. “I knew it!” she crows, barely audible over the music. She pressesagainst me suddenly. “That guy won’t know what hit him,” she says, and a shivergoes through me.
I don’t have time to tense at herproximity before she’s moving away. It’s no surprise that she’s a good dancertoo, swaying her hips and closing her eyes. I let old, ingrained insecuritiesfall away. I match her rhythm and when she catches me, she takes my hand, liftingit up shoulder-height as we start moving our feet in a simple forward-step,back-step dance. It’s rare that I give myself so easily to someone, but I feellooser, welcoming the distraction from thinking about the girl that’s dancingwith Ezra, who she is, what she is to him, and how I fit into it all.
With the press of bodies aroundus, we’re both sweating in no time at all, and not giving a shit about it.Eventually, however, Aisha fans her face and mimes getting a drink. I nod,pulling her out of the crowd.
“I’ll go get you one,” I offer,but she shakes her head.
“Nah, let’s see how this playsout,” she says nonsensically before indicating for me to stay and disappearing.
Normally, I feel a little awkwardif I’m left alone at a party, as if people are going to look at me and declareme a loser the moment I don’t have a chaperone, but now I just lean against awall, still feeling the thrum of the music. My fears are unfounded, anyway, asit’s not long before I’m joined.
“Hey there.” Even breathless Irecognize the voice, and I stand up straighter as Ezra appears. We’re some wayaway from the speakers now, offering some relief from the noise, but Ezra stillpresses close. I feel my stomach lurch.
“Having fun?” he asks, looking atme knowingly. I swallow. I really want that drink now.
“Yeah. You?” I say, a trueshowmanship of my social skills.
“Yep. I didn’t know you coulddance.” He looks me up and down, and he could have done it with the press ofhis mouth for the shuddering effect it has on my body. His smirk grows.
“I can’t, really.”
“If that wasn’t dancing, I don’tknow what is.” He’s looking at me in a way that makes me feel like I’m missingsomething, but the rush of my blood is going too quickly for me to catch up.“The girl a friend?”
I feel a little jolt at thequestion, at the fact that he’s interested.
“I met her today, actually. Atthis party, I mean,” I say, and don’t know how to turn the question on himwithout it sounding clunky. He replies too quickly for me to figure it out, andI’m left feeling discombobulated.
“Ah,” he says, and waggles hiseyebrows like an idiot.
“You’re an idiot,” I say.
“Yep,” he says shamelessly. Iroll my eyes, but I’m smiling.
“Whoops – am I interrupting?”Aisha says, appearing at our elbows. I jump a little but shake my head, takingthe drink from her. “You two can share,” she says. I offer the drink to Ezrabefore taking a sip and he accepts, looking at me over the rim as he drinks. Whenhe hands it back, our fingers brush.
“So…” Aisha says, and I turn myhead sharply to look at her.
“Oh, right, sorry – Aisha, Ezra,Ezra, Aisha,” I introduce quickly.
“Nice to meet you,” Aisha sayswith a sharp grin.
“Likewise,” Ezra says.
“You here with your girlfriend?”Aisha asks, and I try to contain my interest in the answer.
“My – oh! No, no, she’s afriend,” he says, looking at me. I don’t let my relief show, nodding slightlylike I’m agreeing about the weather.
“Cool,” she says, and they fallinto chit-chat, asking about courses and hometowns and that movie out rightnow, have you seen it? I’m mostly a spectator, even though they try to includeme. I don’t mind. I like to watch the easy way they’re interacting, even thoughI feel like I’m staring at Ezra. I feel like I can’t restrain myself when I’maround him, like I’m moved by instincts I didn’t know I had.
“Ok, I think we’re sufficientlyhydrated,” Aisha proclaims after a while. “Let’s go dance.”
“Ok,” Ezra says, taking a stepback. “I’m gonna-”
“No, no,” she interrupts, “Comejoin!”
Ezra looks at me, likes he’sasking for permission. I shrug. Aisha doesn’t give us a choice, grabbing ourarms and pulling. I’m glad the decision is taken from my hands.
It starts off innocent, and if itwere down to me it would have stayed that way. One moment it’s two-steppinglegs, flailing arms, and jumping around, and then suddenly Aisha is steppingback, pressing against Ezra’s front. He doesn’t tense up like I would have,putting his hands on her hips and pressing closer. Suddenly, Ezra can dance.They’re swaying their hips to the same rhythm. They aren’t grinding, but it’s akissing cousin. The emotion that swells in me is too fractured to have onesingle name; arousal, confusion, rejection, hurt. Aisha tilts her head back andEzra leans forward, brushing his lips on her neck. He looks at me through hiseyelashes and the playful smirk is back, the dangerous one. Even as my head isstill trying to make sense, my body is kicking the arousal up a notch. I’m notgiven enough time to catch my breath as Ezra says something into Aisha’s ear.She smiles, and the next moment her hand is on my shirt and she’s dragging meforward. I lift my hands to hold her hips reflexively and find Ezra’s handsalready there. One slips from under mine and reaches around me, pressing meforward. Aisha’s arms are around my neck and I feel like I’m being ambushedfrom all sides.
