Page 36 of The Poster Boy
“Better than.” I smiled, though he couldn’t see it in the dark. “Maybe next time we’ll plan better, and we won’t have to fuck in a dark linen cupboard.”
“Next time?”
“I’m hoping there’s a next time. I have to admit that I’ve been too scared to hook up with people. I almost didn’t go to your room that first night, not knowing it was you, but I needed to get out of my head. And then you gave me your room number, and I knew it was someone on the team because it was in the block of rooms the team booked.” I took a chance and reached for Jay. I put my hands on his hips, because if I put them anywhere else, it would have been his face. I’d have grabbed him, and kissed him, and consumed him the way I wanted to. “Will there be a next time, Jay?”
“We probably shouldn’t.” He didn’t sound convincing at all.
“We definitely should. It’s perfect. You don’t like me, so there’s no danger of you falling for me and being dragged out of your closet. We travel together. Play together. It won’t be weird for two teammates to hang out.”
“Why am I considering this?”
“Because I’m irresistible?”
“Incorrigible.”
“Magnetic.” I was smiling now in a way that I hadn’t smiled in a long time. Not since the trade at least. Even his next comment didn’t damper my mood.
“Moronic.”
“I may be a moron, but I’m the moron who fucked you.”
“Touché.” Jay let out a sigh. “I should say no.”
“But you’re not going to.”
He didn’t acknowledge that statement. Instead he said, “You should give me your number so we’re not messaging on hookup apps anymore.”
“Is Jay Brookbank asking for my number?”
“Don’t make it a big deal, Myers.”
“My phone is up in my room. Do you have yours on you?”
He let out a soft laugh. “Yeah. I got it right here, but we should get out of this closet now. I’m starting to feel a little closed in.”
I hated that we had to leave our dark little bubble. It felt intimate in a way that I hadn’t experienced with a hookup before. Even other hookups that hadn’t taken place in a cramped housekeeping closet. Something about Jay appealed to me. Something soft under his sharp exterior called to me. The truth was that Jay wasn’t half the asshole he pretended to be. He might be all fists on the ice and sharp looks off it, but the reality was that he was just looking to protect himself, the same way I was. He just went about it a different way.
He kept his cards close to his chest, but I felt like something happened between us in the dark that had tipped his hand.
“I’ll go first.” When Jay moved out of my embrace, the bereft feeling that swept over me nearly took me to my knees. I was thankful again for the darkness so I could hide my reactions from him.
We stepped into the stairwell, slinking wordlessly away from the closet door and down the stairs as if we were somehow in sync. We stopped at the ground floor, and Jay pulled his phone out. “Send yourself a text.”
It took all my strength to keep my hands from shaking as I popped my number in and sent myself a message. I grinned when I handed his phone back to him.
Jay glanced at the text I’d sent and he almost smiled. I could tell he wanted to, but he stopped himself. He might not hate me, but he didn’t want to like me.
He slid his phone into his pocket and gave me a onceover. “You gonna be okay?”
“I’m good.” To my surprise, it was true. For this moment at least. There had been a rush of anger and helplessness when I was asked about my parents. The worst of it was that the question made me look like the bad guy. I could still hear the reporter’s voice in my head.Marek, is it true you won’t take calls from your parents? Marek, why did you go no contact?The media had been relentless, but I’d hoped to appease them by being in the spotlight as much as they wanted me to, thinking maybe that would earn me some slack when I wanted it.
Clearly, that had been a stupid idea. And now, because of my tendency to overshare, I’d created a crack in the foundation and the press were going to continue to chip away at it.
For now, however, my encounter with Jay had settled enough of my frenetic energy that I felt almost normal. And maybe it was about more than the sex. Maybe it was because I didn’t feel as though I had to win Jay’s approval. I’d never had it to begin with, so I didn’t feel like I had anything to lose by being myself around him. I didn’t have to smile for the cameras or pretend to have my shit together. None of that mattered to Jay.
Truthfully, I didn’t know what mattered to him beyond hockey.
“I’m going to head upstairs.” He stepped around me and started up the steps. “I’ll see you around, Myers.”
