Page 68 of The Poster Boy
Jay brushed his lips over mine. “Best treat ever.”
Chapter 32
Jay
Six Months Later
“How do I look?” Marek fussed with his tie in the mirror, trying to straighten the knot. Walking up behind him, I reached around and batted his hands away. I fixed the knot of his tie for him and kissed the shell of his ear. Our gazes met in the mirror.
“You look amazing.”
“Why am I so nervous? It’s not like I haven’t given a million of these interviews before.”
“Because it’s a big deal. You’re allowed to be nervous.” I turned Marek around, and I cupped his face in my hands. “You’ll be great.”
“Says the guy who hated me because of interviews like this.”
“Says the guy who hated himself for being a chickenshit and took it out on you.” I pressed a kiss against Marek’s mouth to stop him from replying to me. It was the truth, even if it was uncomfortable. “Thankfully, I got over myself.”
I still wasn’t out to the rest of the world, but I was working on it. The league had been made aware of it. Thereweren’t a lot of out players, even ones like me who weren’t out to everyone. The closet in sports was a deep one, and if being in the closet was something someone wanted, there was nothing wrong with that. But I had long ago started to realize that people didn’t want to be in the closet. People didn’t want to be hated for who they were. Hockey players just wanted to play hockey without all the other stuff cluttering up their headspace.
Marek slid his arms around my waist. “Thank you for coming with me.”
“As if you could’ve kept me away.”
“People might guess that you’re here with me.”
“They’d guess correctly.” I still had a lot of doubts about coming out. A lot of fear to unpack around it, but men like Marek showed me day after day that it was okay to be out and play a sport. It was okay to live your life the way it made sense for you.
“What if they ask questions about you?”
“Then you answer them. I trust that you know what you’re doing.”
“Did you see that I’m on a panel with Camden Crawford?”
“I did. In fact, I googled the people you’ll be up there with, and I think we need to start watching rugby. They definitely wear less gear than a hockey player.”
Marek laughed and pulled me closer to him. “Did we go into the wrong sport?”
“Fuck no. Ice is life. I was just saying those shorts… those thighs. How have we not discovered rugby before now?”
The timer on my phone went off, telling me that it was time to get Marek out of the hotel room and down to the ballroom where they’d set up for the panel.
He let out a sigh. “Do I have to go?”
“Yes, you do. You’ll be fine. And remember, after this, there’s a vacation with our name on it. Just you and me, and a cabin with a hot tub and no one else.”
“Heaven.” Marek kissed me again, and I could feel the slight smile on his lips as he pressed them to mine. “You’re good to me.”
“I plan to be good to you for a long time. Get used to it.” My phone chimed again with another alarm. “That was the final bell. We really have to go now.”
Marek pulled away and smoothed his hand down his front, straightening his tie. “Okay. I’m ready.”
Downstairs, I was ushered to a seat in the crowd while Marek was taken to the platform with the other speakers. If I hadn't googled them ahead of time, I wouldn’t have known who any of them were. It struck me then how important things like this were. These guys were all out and proud, and though Marek hadn’t come out willingly, he’d embraced the chaos that had come with it. It upended his life, but he’d managed to land on his feet.
With a little help. He still struggled with things off the ice. He still lived by the chime of a phone alarm and relied on housekeepers and meal deliveries to keep his life from falling into shambles the minute he stepped off the ice.
I hoped that we could soon share those costs together. There was no reason for Marek to keep living apart from me. I wanted him with me all the time. I loved having him around all the time, and I’d even started to join him on his volunteer days. I loved how he’d find a rink or a game of street hockey and just jump in. He’d spend time signing autographs and talking to the kids. And even the most aloof kid, the coolest, quietest, angriest kid, couldn’t resist his charm.
