Page 64 of The Poster Boy
“Are you okay?” I asked him, earning an eye roll.
“He barely touched me. I’ve taken harder hits from my sister.”
“I didn’t mean…” I stopped and let out a sigh. I pulled my hat off and bent the brim while I struggled to get the words right. “I fucked up. I know that.”
Marek responded with silence. Part of me expected him to open the door and usher me out, to not even let me finish my apology. I wondered if words were going to be enough. It hadn’t been my words that had hurt him but my actions.
“You’re not the only one who fucked up.”
I snapped my gaze up to meet his. He let out a sigh and uncrossed his arms. “I knew you weren’t out when we started messing around. It was unfair of me to expect things that you’d made clear you weren’t ready for. You told me the rules, and I was wrong to assume I’d be an exception.”
“I was ready,” I blurted. “But I was terrified of what that meant. I’ve never been in a real relationship before, and I’m not sure I even know how. I want to take the next step with you, Marek. But I don’t know what that is, or what it should look like, or how to do it. I do have rules, Marek, but youarethe exception.”
“Jay—”
I put my hat on backwards and wiped my sweaty palms on my thighs.
“You’re the exception, Marek. I want to break my rules for you. I want a shot with you. I want so many things that I can’t put them all into words. I want—mmph.”
Suddenly I had an armful of Marek. He slammed intome, crushing his mouth against mine. He cradled my face in his hands as he deepened the kiss, licking his way into my mouth. Marek walked me backward toward the bed as I tugged at the bottom of his shirt, sliding my hands underneath it to feel his skin again.
We kissed like we’d been apart for years, not days. Marek moaned into my mouth as my legs came in contact with the bed. Falling back, I dragged him down with me. My hat got knocked off when we hit the mattress. Marek hadn’t shaved and his stubble scratched at my skin. It didn’t matter that tomorrow I’d have to face the world with beard-burn. That people might take one look at me and know. The idea didn’t scare me the way it used to. When I thought I’d lost Marek, that’s when I knew what real fear was.
He worked his hand between us, sliding it under the waistband of my pants.
“Marek—wait.”
He went still, then pulled back. He tried to pull his hand out of my pants, but I stopped him, stilling his hand with my own.
“I need you to know that I know I fucked up. And I’ll probably fuck up again. And again. But I won’t ever stop trying not to… because I love you.”
“You’re such an asshole,” he whispered. “I wanted to say it first.”
The sun rose in my chest, and I melted under Marek, smiling up at him like an idiot. “I could take it back…”
“Don’t you dare.” Marek leaned down and kissed me again. Slow and deep, like he’d just found the answers to everything in the space behind my teeth. His hand started to move again, and mine followed it as he took my dick in his hand. I’d been hard from that first kiss. Hell, all ittook most times was for me to think of Marek and my dick rose to attention.
“Love you,” Marek whispered against my lips between kisses. He spoke the words against my skin as he kissed my jaw.
“Love you,” he said again as he stroked me with a tenderness that left me breathless.
I’d never been in love before, and I’d never had someone love me before, not like this. Not in a way that was everything.
Marek’s love was the sun shining on my soul. It was the stars in my eyes when I looked at him. I hadn’t understood how much I needed him until I thought I’d lost him. Coming out still terrified me in a lot of ways, for a lot of reasons, but I could take small steps. I didn’t have to leap out with both feet. Marek would wait for me as long as he knew I was on the right track.
Using my heels, I dug them into Marek’s ass and pressed him closer to me. As much as I loved the feeling of his hand on me, I needed more. I shoved his shirt up his body until he got the message and sat up, yanking it off over his head. The shirt was tossed to the side, and then Marek was pulling at my clothes, and I scrambled to help him. I pulled my shirt off while Marek yanked my pants down. I hated the loss of his body against mine, but it was worth it when he came back to me, naked and hard. Fucking beautiful. And mine.
Mine.
Marek stretched out over top of me again, and I welcomed his weight. I couldn’t stop kissing him. Couldn’t stop touching him. Needing him. Our cocks were pressed together, sandwiched between us. I throbbed and leaked, moaned when he ground his hips down. Itwas like being kissed with his whole body, not just his lips and tongue.
“Jay,” Marek muffled his voice against the curve of my throat. “Want you so bad.”
His hips undulated, grinding our cocks together.
“Lube,” I said, suddenly desperate for him. It had only been days, but it felt like forever since I’d been with him. Since I felt his hands on me. His mouth. His body in mine.
Marek brushed a kiss against my mouth. “Don’t move.” He climbed off me and dug around in his bag until he came out with a bottle of lube and a condom.
