Page 50 of The Poster Boy
I could hear Jay jerking his cock. As hot as phone sex was, I wanted him with me. I wouldn’t mind doing this again with him watching from somewhere in the room. I sank down farther, taking more of the dildo inside me. It gotfatter as it went, and the stretch got to the point where I started to really feel it.
“It’s so thick. Fuck.” I sank down another inch, moaning as I jerked my cock. “Jay, it’s so fucking good.”
“What else do you like?” he asked, which was absolutely unfair of him.
My brain was fried. All my blood was pooled in my dick, and I panted like I’d just finished some suicide drills.
I liked him. I liked Jay. I liked the way he looked at me, even when he didn’t want to look at me, but couldn’t help himself. I liked the way his day-old stubble felt on my face when we’d kissed. The way his body felt underneath me. I liked the way he didn’t judge me for the wreck I was sometimes.
“I like to come,” I told him instead. Some truths were too much to reveal during sex. Even though that was often when people were the most honest. The most vulnerable. You could pretend to like someone, but they could feel the truth in your touch. Or you could pretend to hate someone but kiss them like they meant something to you.
“Come on then, Marek. Let me hear you.” Jay sounded hoarse, like he was on the precipice himself.
Working my thigh muscles, I bounced up and down on the dildo, fucking myself with it, wishing it was him. Wishing he were here. My hand flew over my cock, stroking it as fast as I could manage. I bit my lip to keep myself from babbling. Words kept wanting to spill out of me, and they were all things I didn’t want to say. I hoarded my truths like treasure. Folded them up into paper hearts and tucked them away.
When I came, I fucking shattered. I sank down onto the dildo, taking it all the way inside and rocked back and forthon it, while I jerked myself to completion, coming all over the side of my bed, my floor, my hand. I kept going until the rush of endorphins made me too lazy to want to bare my soul now. My secret was safe a little longer.
I sat still and listened to Jay shout as he came. Again, I wished that I could be there with him, and his absence felt suddenly like a rejection. The post-orgasm high I’d achieved quickly crashed, and I let out a shaky breath.
“Marek?” Jay was out of breath still. “You there? You good?”
“Yeah. Sorry. I think I came so hard I forgot how to function.” I eased off the dildo and let out a sigh. As good as it had felt in the moment, the interaction left me feeling off-balance and shaky after. I tried to laugh it off, but after the day I’d had, my attempt fell flat.
Sitting on the floor, I splayed my legs out to the side and sat there, cum in hand.
“Marek? Are you okay?”
“Did you know Christmas is next week?” I said. I didn’t have it in me to keep my mouth shut. Maybe if I’d been left with more brain cells after that explosive orgasm, I might have been able to keep quiet. But my defenses were down, and part of me wanted to tell him. Jay had already seen how not perfect I was, how scattered I could be, and he hadn’t gone running for the hills. Or worse. Worse being him sticking around to make me feel inferior.
“Yeah.” He let out a breath and I heard rustling on the other end of the phone.
“What are you doing for Christmas, Jay?”
“Boone drags me out to his family’s place every year.”
Silence landed heavy between us, smothering me like a blanket.
“I was supposed to book a flight home to spend the holiday with Kelsey, my sister. But I forgot. And everything is booked. The only flight I could get was for after Christmas, and we’re kicking off our next series of away games.”
“Marek, I’m sorry. That sucks.”
“She’s going to be so mad.”
“Can she fly here?”
“She can’t get the time off. She and her girlfriend have plans too.” Grimacing, I shoved myself to my feet and grabbed the phone with my clean hand. Part of me suddenly wondered if the fact that I hadn’t booked the flight was some kind of subconscious way of me punishing myself.
“What are you going to do instead?”
Putting the phone down on the bathroom counter, I quickly washed my hands. It gave me time to try and think up a convincing lie. But if I’d wanted to lie to Jay, all I’d had to do was keep my mouth shut in the first place.
“I’m probably going to order take-out and watch movies.”
“Marek…” Jay’s voice was soft and kind and concerned.
“It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine. Look, I might not be like the greatest person who ever lived. I’m kind of an asshole if you hadn’t noticed.”
