Page 44 of The Poster Boy
“Marek, Marek, fuck, baby… please.” Unable to control myself anymore, I whimpered. I whimpered again, unable to stop.
“I want to see you come,” he told me, his voice strained.
His wish was apparently my command because, in the next second, I shattered. A thick rope of cum shot out and landed on my chest. Even more spilled out, coating my fingers.
I watched Marek watch me. Watched the way his mouth opened in awe when my release hit me. Watched the muscles in his arms tighten as he increased his pace, slamming into me like he wanted to break me apart.
And then his body stiffened. He tilted his head back, elongating his neck, making me wish I had the energy to sit up and lick the hollow of his throat. Then his mouth was on mine and his hips thrust in jerky motions. He came apart, whimpering in my mouth as he emptied inside me.
When he was done, I didn’t let him roll away. I wrapped my arms around him and held him close.
“I’ll crush you,” Marek protested weakly after a minute. He made a halfhearted attempt to roll away, but I held him tighter.
“I got you, Marek.” Without quite knowing what I was doing, I kissed his temple.
I didn’t know what this meant for us, but I knew nothing would be the same. I knew I was sure I didn’t want things to stay the same. But I wasn’t sure if I was ready forchange. And yet, the idea of change sounded better than stopping whatever it was I was doing with Marek.
Chapter 21
Marek
I’d messaged Jay in a moment of blind panic. I was standing in the middle of my apartment and had looked around at the shambles my life was in, and I didn’t know what to do. Paralyzed, I’d called Jay because he was a great distraction.
Apparently he was too good of a distraction because I forgot the fucking condom. I’d wanted to crawl into a hole and die. But the possessive part of my brain secretly loved that I’d forgotten, that Jay hadn’t minded and had let me continue was almost too good to be true.
I knew it didn’t make it true, but coming inside him made him feel like he was mine in some way. Not in every way, or even in ways that mattered, but on a primal level. Like if you peeled back all the layers that made him—defenseman, hockey player, man, friend—beneath all that was a layer where he was mine.
It was the last first I’d have to give away, and I was glad that I’d given it to Jay.
It took a few minutes before he was willing to let me roll off of him, but he didn’t let me go anywhere.
“Everything good, Marek?” he asked.
I knew the question was coming long before he got up the nerve to ask it, but my face still flooded with shame regardless. I wished he didn’t live with Boone or he’d been able to host, and I wouldn’t be in this mess.
“It’s fine.”
Jay huffed. “Marek, we just had our dicks in each other’s ass. I think you can tell me if something is wrong.”
Telling someone about how you’d let your life turn into a wreck was a lot more intimate than having a dick in your ass, but I wasn’t about to burst his little bubble.
“It’s embarrassing.”
“Your cum is leaking out of my ass. I’m about to leave a huge wet spot on your sheets. I think we’re beyond that now.”
Rolling onto my back, I tossed an arm over my face so I didn’t have to look at him when I talked. “Everything is a mess.”
Jay waited for me to continue. He turned on his side and used me for a pillow. Knowing that he wasn’t staring at me waiting for me to talk actually helped me loosen up a little.
“I have ADHD. And usually I manage it well, but… I also usually have a support network. Kelsey, my sister. She’s been looking after me since our parents threw me out. She even moved with me after I got drafted. But she has a life now back there, and I couldn’t ask her to move again. I’m a grown man. A professional athlete. I should be able to handle my shit.”
“Change can be tough. Tell me more about your ADHD. My cousin had ADHD, and he really put emphasis on that H, I tell you. The kid never stopped. But itcan be rough to deal with. And you’re not dealing so well right now, I take it?”
Too mortified to even fathom looking at Jay, I squeezed my eyes shut.
“I know that I have things I have to get done. And I know they wouldn’t take long. But I don’t know where to start. The idea of it makes my skin itch. They call it task paralysis.”
“Well… can I help you get un-paralyzed? I could help you do the things you need doing. Like laundry.” He drew shapes on my chest with his fingertips, distracting me from the thunderous beat of my heart.
