Page 30 of Up In Flames
I couldn’t hide in the bathroom forever, as much as I’d like to. Standing, I went to the sink and splashed some water on my face. I dabbed my face dry with a hand towel and unlocked the bathroom door.
Taking a deep breath, I braced myself and opened the door, finally ready to face my empty apartment.
Will stood there, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest.
My mouth opened and then closed again. He pushed away from the wall and unfolded his arms, letting them drop to his sides.
There were a million things I could say, but none of them felt like the right thing. So I said nothing at all.
Will took a step forward. Then another. I didn’t know who moved first. Maybe it had been both of us colliding like magnets giving in to the pull between us. But suddenly Will’s mouth wason mine again. His hand fisted my shirt. The other cupped my cheek and kept me close to him that way.
Did I know what was going on? Not anymore, but I couldn’t find it in me to care. I was kissing Will. He was kissing me, stealing my breath and my ability to think like a rational human being. I should stop him and make sure this was what he really wanted, but my brain and my body weren’t communicating. My brain was caught between the joy of getting what I wanted and the fear of losing it, and my body was pressing itself against Will, seeking friction and closeness and companionship. Seeking everything it knew it had been missing.
Later, my brain would have questions, but it was content in the moment to let my body lead. I put my arms around Will’s waist and pulled him closer. When our dicks collided, I sucked in a breath.
He stopped kissing and pulled back. He stared into my eyes with a gaze hotter and more open than anything I’d ever seen. No one had ever looked at me the way Will was looking at me.
“Yes?” he asked, subtly grinding himself against me.
“Fuck, yes.” I no sooner got the words out and Will’s mouth was back on mine. He turned us and pressed me against the wall, caging me with his body. At some point, I’d want him to explain his sudden change of heart, but right now I wanted to see what it felt like to be happy.
CHAPTER 14
Will
I’d stood on the precipice of the biggest mistake of my life. When Oren left the room and barricaded himself in the bathroom, I knew what an idiot I was. My fear had made me stupid and unkind. There would always be the small chance that Oren had fixated on me because of what he’d been through and how we met, but I had to trust him to know his own mind.
Leaving wasn’t an option. If I left, that would be the end of us. Of whatever friendship we’d nurtured, of all the memes we sent. If I left, I had a feeling he’d never let me back in. As much as I didn’t want to be an experiment for a straight boy, I had to believe that that wasn’t what this was. That Oren wasn’t the kind of person who would throw himself at a man just to see what it was like.
As angry as he looked, he’d been far more hurt underneath. Behind the fire in his eyes, he was made of spun glass. If I left, he’d recover. He’d pick up his pieces like he did after the accident. But I wondered if I’d recover.
I’d come out to him, and that meant something to me. Oren was the one person I could be my whole authentic self with. I stood, and instead of my feet carrying me toward the exit, I went deeper into his apartment.
A new kind of fear bloomed in my chest. What might happen to my heart if I didn’t turn and leave? Oren already had my heart, but the question was did I stay and risk him breaking it or leave and break it myself?
The bathroom door opened, and I knew at that moment there’d never be any leaving for me. Not unless he made me go.
As suddenly as he’d bolted for the bathroom, he was in my arms. His body warm and solid and perfect against mine. Kissing Oren made the world go fuzzy around the edges. Our dicks pressed against each other, and I had the presence of mind, only just barely, to pull back and check in with him. Being ready to kiss a man didn’t mean Oren was automatically ready for everything else that came with it.
“Yes?” My entire universe hinged on a single word. I’d meant to be more articulate, but all my thoughts were scattered, taking my words with them. And then came Oren’s response, an enthusiastic” Fuck, yes,” and I was breathing again.
And then we were kissing. Wild and frantic. I spun him and pinned him against the wall. And kissed him some more. Harder, with tongue. His hands mapped my body. Fingers dug into my back, my sides. Oren cupped my ass and pulled me in tighter, groaning into my mouth when our bodies meshed together.
His neck was a temptation I could no longer resist, and I broke away from his mouth and trailed kisses down his lightly stubbled jaw. The sounds that came out of Oren were sweeter than any symphony. One of his hands slid between us. Without hesitation, he cupped my dick through my pants.
I sucked in a breath and then playfully scraped my teeth against the flesh of his neck. Oren squeezed my cock in response, letting out a moan of his own when I did it again.
His touch wasn’t that of some mildly curious straight boy who wanted to see what it was like to touch a dick that wasn’t his.It was the touch of a curious new lover, exploring how to make the other person happy. Learning what they liked through trial and error.
“Is this okay?” His voice was weak and thready, hitching when my mouth moved against his skin.
“You can do whatever you want to me, Oren. If I don’t like something, I’ll stop you.”
He angled for another kiss, and I gave it to him. Softer this time. More controlled. I put my hands on his waist and let him run the show. His touch vanished for a second, and he pulled his shirt up, breaking the kiss to yank it over his head.
Oren was thinner than I’d imagined him to be, but no less perfect than he’d been in my mind. Every part of him was clearly defined and well-constructed. Broad shoulders, narrow hips. Dips behind his collarbones that would be perfect for kissing. A hint of abdominal muscles. Pretty pink nipples with a dusting of hair on his chest.
His fingers fumbled with my pants until he got the button open and the fly down. His touch was more certain than I’d expected, but still gentle and exploratory. Still full of wonder as he learned what I liked.
