Page 66 of Up In Flames
“Just home. I have medication there I can take.”
“Do you get a lot of headaches?” Hal started the car and immediately flicked the radio off.
“After the accident I got them all the time. But as time went on, they went away. I haven’t had one in so long I forgot how much they suck.”
Hal seemed to sense my need for quiet, and he let me endure the drive without further chatter. Being the nice guy he was, he escorted me to my apartment and helped me up the stairs—I’d had enough elevators for one day, thank you.
Hal followed me into my apartment. “Get your meds and get into bed.”
“Yes, boss.”
Without turning any lights on, I made my way through my apartment. I stopped at the bathroom and took a piss just so I wouldn’t have to get up for a while. Then I grabbed my meds, stripped down to my underwear, and crawled into bed.
I could hear Hal moving around. He might be robbing me blind for all I knew or cared, but then he crept into my room and pulled the curtains shut the rest of the way.
“I brought you a bottle of water and an ice pack for your head. Did you take your meds?”
“Yes, thank you.” I let Hal fuss over me, tucking me in and gently placing the ice pack on my head.
“My mom used to get migraines. Did you want me to stick around?”
“No. I’m fine.”
Hal made a thoughtful sound like he didn’t quite believe me. Well, too bad for him. I was as fine as I was going to get until my meds kicked in, and I could sleep for twelve or thirteen hours. Days maybe.
“I put your phone on the nightstand. Is it set to silent?”
I managed a nod. I didn’t often get sick anymore, but it had been a while since I had a headache this bad and the more I talked, the larger the lump in my throat felt. It was stupid, but I wanted Will. But Will was at work doing important firefighter things like pulling people out of elevators and rescuing kittens from storm drains.
“You have my number. If you need anything, I want you to call me. I also expect an update as soon as you feel able.”
“So bossy,” I whispered.
“Okay, I’ll get out of your hair. Rest well.”
I didn’t bother saying goodbye. Hal didn’t seem to expect it of me either. He left the room and closed the door. It wasn’t totally dark, but it was dark enough to suit me just fine. Dark enough that it eased some of the pain lancing through my skull.
I wished for sleep to take me, but my head still felt like it was imploding in on itself. I didn’t fucking miss this. And lying in bed, in the dark, alone, reminded me of how miserable I’d been after the accident and what a lifeline Liam had been for me.
And the fact that other than him, I’d had no one. Everyone had been taken from me. Those months were the worst of my life. And nothing had really changed. I thought it had. I thought I’d found someone, but if I had Will, he’d be here. And he wasn’t.
Migraine me easily devolved into depressed me. Was it the head injury talking? The pain? Elephants were still stampeding over my skull. Or was it just a product of having to lie still in thequiet darkness that got to me? That reminded me of all those months that I went through this alone.
The more things changed, the more they stayed the same.
Eventually, sleep took hold, and I drifted away in the comfort of oblivion. I woke when it was dark out. My head still throbbed, but it was nothing like before. I drank half the bottle of water and shot a text to Hal, telling him I was still alive. It was almost dinner time, but I had no desire or energy for food. With my proof of life text sent to Hal, I put my phone down, rolled over, and went back to sleep.
CHAPTER 30
Will
WILL
Checking my phone seven hundred times didn’t make a text magically appear. I wished I’d been smart enough to get Hal’s number so I could have texted him to see how Oren really was. When he left the office, he was pale, and he looked like a strong wind would have knocked him over. I would have liked a few minutes alone with him, but it hadn’t been possible.
I texted him a few times throughout the day, but none of them had been read. Was he mad at me? It was a stupid thought, but it wouldn’t let go once it took hold. Maybe Oren wanted to be with someone who wasn’t too afraid to hug his boyfriend in public. Especially after said boyfriend had been through something traumatic. Pulling him out of that elevator shaft reminded me of pulling him out of that car. It must have been worse for him, but I still hadn’t been able to unfreeze myself. Torn between giving him comfort and maybe being discovered, I’d chosen wrong.
The closet used to be a source of comfort and safety for me. It was a barrier between the real me and the me I let everyonethink I was. What once was comforting was now abrasive. As my world got larger, my closet got smaller, and it was hard to make everything fit in my life while I was in there. I hated it.
