Page 38 of Up In Flames
The ride to Will’s place was short even though I’d told the driver I wasn’t in a hurry. Wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans, I snuck into the building as someone else was exiting. It wasn’t the most secure thing to do, but I guessed that I didn’t look very threatening.
I went down the hall and knocked on Will’s door. I listened for any sound inside, but after a few minutes, it was clear that no one was home. That left me two choices. Go home or wait here.
I sank down to the floor and leaned against Will’s door. I knew he wasn’t working today, but that didn’t mean he just sat around at home all the time. There was a lot to being a firefighter that wasn’t just about fighting fires. Will had taken all kinds of extra training to help him on the job. Water rescue. Highway rescue. Endurance drills. First aid training.
The number of things Will knew how to do was awe-inspiring. Leaning my head against his door, I closed my eyes and contemplated getting up off the floor and leaving before he discovered I’d been here.
But then we’d be back at square one. Square-less-than-one, actually. Because Will had never ghosted me like this before. Was he okay? Had something happened at work? My mind churned up a million grisly possibilities, each one worse than the last.
By the time I heard footsteps approaching, I was a nervous wreck. I glanced up to see Will standing at the end of the hallway. His keys in one hand, what was clearly a doggie bag from a restaurant in the other.
Had he been on a date? He looked… good. But he always looked good to me. My stomach clenched as I got to my feet. Moving out of the way so Will could unlock his door, I suddenly felt stupid for coming over and ambushing him like this. He clearly didn’t know what to say to me.
“Sorry for showing up like this.” Holy awkward, Batman. Blowing out a breath, I ran my hand through my hair, barely resisting the urge to give it a yank in frustration.
“It’s fine.” His key rattled in the lock.
“Is it? You don’t look happy to see me. And you’ve been ghosting me since—” I cut my sentence off. The middle of his hallway wasn’t the place to have this conversation.
Will’s gaze swam with regret.
I’d never been looked at like I was a mistake before, and up until now I wouldn’t have known what that facial expression even looked like. But it was on his face as clear as day.
We’d been a mistake. But be damned if I was going to leave without figuring out why the sudden change of heart.
“Can I come in?”
He nodded and I followed him inside. I left my shoes on and lingered by the door as I watched Will store his leftovers in the fridge. Then he turned and leaned against the counter. Silence, thick and heartbreaking.
“Haven’t heard from you lately. I tried not to take it personally, but it’s hard not to when you’re looking at me like I shit in your cereal.”
“Oren…”
I waved him off. Maybe I didn’t need an explanation after all. “I’m going to go.”
I turned, but Will was there suddenly, his hand on my wrist. Pain lanced through his voice. “Oren, wait, dammit.” His breath shook when he exhaled. “Please.”
Turning to face him took every ounce of strength I had, but leaving would have taken more. His touch soothed me even when it confused me. He didn’t want me to go, but he didn't want to talk to me. What was I supposed to do with that?
“Did you have a nice breakfast?” I asked instead.
“Not really, actually. Briggs has been on my ass because I’ve been fucking miserable lately.”
“Because of me?”
“Because of me.” Will pulled me closer. “I’m a mess, Oren. I don’t know which way is up.”
Will stepped closer. His free hand reached for me but stopped. I moved into the space, meeting him halfway, putting my face in his palm. My heart in his hand.
“Because of me?”
“Because of a lot of things.”
“You can’t ignore me, Will. You can yell at me or write me ten-page text messages. You can do anything but ignore me.”
I ached to kiss him, but I didn’t know if he wanted that anymore. Or me. Or anything to do with me. He told me not to leave, but he hadn’t told me why I should stay.
The corner of his mouth quirked up. “No, I can’t ignore you.”
