Page 2 of Harboring Secrets
“Of course it’s not necessary, but I’d still like to go with you.”
“That isn’t possible, I’m afraid.”
My heart slammed against my ribs, against the walls of my throat. It wanted me to tell him everything as if it would make a difference.
“Liam—why don’t you want me to come?”
His eyes flashed with an emotion I couldn’t name. Anger? Pain? Something lurked in the depths and I wanted more than anything to draw it out of him. Liam set his jaw and turned his back on me. Grabbing his suitcase, he flung it on the bed. It was still half-packed like mine was.
We’d met a month ago and had spent every day since then together. We’d been to four different countries. We’d watched sunrises and sunsets and shared laughter and drinks and each other.
“When are you coming back?”
Liam shook his head. “I’m not. I’m needed at home.”
“I—”
Liam turned on me before I could get another word out. “You knew this was temporary, Brodie.” His eyes were as cold as his voice. Liam was shutting down right in front of me. Not shutting down. Shutting me out.
“Don’t.” I shook my head. I used to love it when he said my name, but now it sounded like a weapon. Desperation clawed at me, tearing my insides apart. My body moved toward his of its own volition. The words tumbled out of my mouth without my permission. It was like an out-of-body experience. I watched myself with embarrassment and horror as I did the thing I swore I’d never do.
I begged.
“Liam, please. Let me go with you.”
“Brodie.”
“I won’t get in your way. I’ll do the tourist thing in Boston. Just—whatever’s going on, let me face it with you.” The words came out before I could stop them. I wanted to snatch them back even before Liam registered them. “I love you.”
No. Not like this. I hadn’t wanted to tell him like this.
He stared at me. A few minutes ago, I remembered how this morning he’d looked like sunshine. Like a future I wanted. Now Liam’s eyes were cold. His face hard and his jaw clenched. He took a breath and straightened to his full height, putting on all the airs of the rich and powerful man he’d been groomed to be.
“I’m sorry.”
He didn’t elaborate for what. Was he sorry I loved him? That I was stupid enough to believe that we had something great?
“We can meet up when you’re done,” I proposed.
My brain had heard his words, but my heart refused to believe them. It wasn’t until he gently shook his head that I broke.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Liam’s words were careful, but still cruel.
He wouldn’t say why we shouldn’t meet again. He turned away and went back to packing. I watched him for a minute, wondering how this tall brick of ice was the same man I’d fallen in love with. Maybe he wasn’t. Maybe I didn’t know him at all. I wanted to believe I knew the things about him that mattered, but maybe none of it did. Because I didn’t matter, that much was clear.
My phone was on the desk behind me and I turned to get it. The postcard stared at me, mocking me. I’d never send that one. There’d be a gap in the journey where today’s missive should’ve been. It would stick out like a missing tooth, but anything was better than having to read those stupid, hopeful words.
The postcard was in my hands before I knew what I was doing. I tore it down the center and tossed it in the trash.
“I’ll be back for my things later. The room is yours.” I grabbed my phone and my wallet off the desk and pushed past Liam, who didn’t even look at me as I left. Why would he?
In my head, he chased me down the street. Followed me to the water’s edge. Dropped to his knees and sank his face into my skin, pressed his mouth against my hipbone and begged my forgiveness the way I’d begged him. He’d have had it too. But he never came. No one called my name. No one looked for me. No one found me there.
Night fell, dark and moonless. I contemplated sleeping on the beach, in the sand, against the waves, because I was dramatic. And heartbroken. Almost numb. But onlyalmost.Because if I were really numb, I’d have let the ocean take me. But I still had people waiting for me back home. They were the only thing that made me get to my feet and brush the sand off my ass.
Home. Shane had made some noise about wanting me to come for a visit. And Kieran had been on my ass for months to come home. He was even more insistent now that he’d fallen in love. Shane had too. And I had yet to meet either of their men. Home was the last place I wanted to be until I walked into my hotel room and found Liam gone.
I knew he wouldn’t be there, but I hadn’t known what called him back to Boston. I guess I didn’t matter enough to him to be told the reason he was abandoning me. Cutting me off without a backward glance. Telling me he was sorry that I loved him. I was sorry too.
